Ban Me From Baby Books – QUICKLY!



I have a problem. Yes, another one. This time it’s with the baby books I’ve been reading to Aless. It’s not that I don’t like the books. They are amazing little productions! Some have been around for years and it’s been a joy to share them with my little girl. I just have a tendency to get a little `goofy, which is probably not a good thing. For example, here is a picture book (What Does Baby See?) depicting images of a black sheep (which has some undertones, don’t you think?) and a white goat:


When I’m reading it to Aless, I say, “What does baby see? A black sheep and a white goat!” Durr. Pretty straightforward. Flip the page and you get these images:


This is when I get really excited and exclaim, “What does baby see? TWITTER!” And later, we talk about the red mouse and how no mouse is really that red unless he has been slashed by Freddy Krueger, which I don’t actually say out loud, but I’m thinking the entire time. This is not an isolated event. I’m compelled over and over again to refer to this chirping creature as a “Twitter”. I cannot help myself. Which brings me to another book that has been causing me to act like a big idiot.

On this page of Hop a Little, Jump a Little! you see a green rabbit. I don’t understand why any rabbit would be green. And then I realize that it was actually made in China and that explains everything. Here’s the page:


Notice that the rabbit’s head, hands and feet are GREEN. Now let’s flip to the last page:


What color is the rabbit’s hand? Is it GREEN? No. Did the rabbit quickly put on gloves before hopping into bed? Is it so cold in baby’s room that hypothermia is setting in? My OCD cannot take such mistakes people!

These are just two of many examples of why I should be banned from having access to and, more importantly, reading these to Aless. What books are you currently reading to your child?



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