Self-care is a hot button issue, especially for moms. Everywhere you look, you are expected to get enough self-care. As if we’re not under enough pressure as it is.
Moms do not get enough self-care and this is not surprising.
This idea is not debatable and many say that a shower should not be considered self-care. It is true that it’s a basic need and basic hygiene, but that’s not to say that it can’t also be self-care.
At least, one form of self-care in your mental health toolkit.
What one woman needs to recharge is not the same as what another one needs. H
ell, it’s not even the same for the same woman all the time. What I need to recharge on a certain day may be completely different than another day.
You cannot tell someone else what they have to do to feel better.
We are so quick to tell moms what to do and what they need, but it is not up to anyone else. It is only up to you.
The idea of going for a salon appointment or going for an overnight trip is not right for everyone. The preparations for elaborate self-care can be way more stressful than the actual time away is relaxing.
You may worry and not be able to relax. You may find that being away from your family for significant periods of time to be stressful.
You may regret not spending the time with your husband and kids. After all, I only see my husband in limited amounts. How much time do I want to take away from being able to spend time with both him and the kids?
I’m not saying that every shower is self-care or that it is always what I need to recharge, but sometimes, yes, it is.
Yes, it helps. These are usually weekend showers though. Ones where I can close the door without my toddler freaking out because he can’t reach me. He’s hanging out with Daddy instead.
These showers where I can take my time and listen to music and I don’t have to worry about waking someone up. Where I can turn the heat up and let it melt some of the tension out of my shoulders.
The thing is it doesn’t matter how you spend your self-care sessions.
You have to leave the house to get it? Cool, but I don’t. The important thing is the mental and physical break.
Having a few minutes without kids needing you or climbing on you. Just getting to be inside your own head for a minute instead of spread in a million directions at once. That’s what matters.
How you get self-care doesn’t need to be approved by anyone but you.
If a long shower does it for you, who is to judge? You may need more another day, but no one gets to tell you how to recharge. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.
Do what you need to do for you. The rest doesn’t matter.