I used to never think of myself as an introverted person until I became a mom. I am a social person. I like being around people. I never craved alone time. Or maybe I never needed to because I had plenty of it. I don’t know if I was always an introvert and just didn’t realize it, or if I became one because of motherhood. I guess it doesn’t really matter.
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The fact is, now I feel more introverted than ever since becoming a mom. I crave my personal space, and have been known on more than one occasion to tell my kids, “I just need some personal space right now!” in my best I’m-trying-not-to-be-exasperated-tone. But, more than that – I am lost in my own thoughts a lot. I struggle with getting out of my own head and being present.
Especially in the summer.
Sometimes, I have to almost shake myself from within – “Wake up! You’re missing it. Your kids are little. They are growing up too fast. Pay attention.”
It’s not about being distracted from my phone, or from housework. It’s because I’m just in my head. A lot.
I’m over thinking, over analyzing, and working things out constantly. It’s part of my OCD, I’m sure, but regardless, it seems like no matter how much time I get alone – I need more time. More time to work things out. More time to think. More silence.
Perhaps every mother feels this way to some extent. But, I crave being alone more than I ever did before.
Summer makes me even more aware that I’m an introvert
I’ve been analyzing the past few weeks as we’ve fallen into summer, why I’m so irritable. I am supposed to be enjoying this time with my kids. After all, we only get 18 Summers give or take, and aren’t we supposed to treasure them?
But, the truth is, I’ve been struggling this year. It’s seemed like the hardest summer for me in history. I’ve wondered if my anxiety has reared it’s ugly head again and I need to up my meds, or if it’s just simply for the fact that I can’t think because three other humans are here with me all. day. long.
The fighting and bickering feels never-ending, and the activities feel like they consume my days and no one appreciates them like I wish they would.
It’s hard to explain, and frankly, typing it out makes me feel a little ungrateful. I love my kids fiercely. I live and breathe for them. But, the day to day work of mothering is tedious. Especially in summer when the snacks are more abundant, the messes are everywhere, and there isn’t much elbow room for all the kids and friends that now fill your house.
So, to the other mamas that struggle with summer because you’re introverted, I get it. I struggle too. I honestly try not to count down the days until school starts again because deep down I know that I just have a few summers left, and it’s fleeting, and precious, and magical.
Because it really is. Some days, I think to myself – this summer thing is the BEST!
I heard a quote recently by Jessica Scott that said
“We get 18 delicious Summers with our children. This is one of your 18. If that’s not perspective, I don’t know what is.”
But, it’s OK to say it’s hard, too. Own it. The magical parts of summer like more relaxed bedtimes, lemonade stands, and sunsets and the not-so-magical parts too.
If you’re an introverted mother, the extra long days mean more extra amounts of patience are required to survive it. Because I’m sure that you’re putting their needs for you above your needs for personal space most of the time during the summer anyway.
So, if today is one of those days where you just need a moment of peace. It’s OK. Your kids will survive. They’ll understand, and you can get right back to your magical summer memories that they’ll cherish forever – tomorrow.
This post originally appeared on Perfection Pending
Meredith Ethington is a writer and a mom to three, trying to help her kids understand sarcasm and her need for personal space. Meredith’s debut parenting book, Mom Life: Perfection Pending, provides an uplifting yet realistic look at all that is expected of moms in the 21st century and is now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and at Absolute Love Publishing. She proudly writes for many of her favorite parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Babble, Momtastic, and on her own blog. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitterwhere she loves to laugh at herself and admit that while parenting is the best thing ever, it’s also the hardest job on earth.