Kids Say The Darndest Things


One of the things that I love most about my Facebook Page, is sharing conversations I have with my kids. Someone is always saying something that is share worthy around here 🙂  Take a look at a few conversations I have had with my kids that you can probably relate too.

6 Yr. Old: Do we have sunblock?

Me: Yes Why?

6 Yr. Old: My friend is coming over after school.

Me: OK.

6 Yr. Old: He has asthma, so I’m just making sure we have sunblock.

Me: Yup, we’re all good.


9 Yr. Old: Gross, you farted.

6 Yr. Old: I didn’t fart.

Me: You are the only one here.

6 Yr. Old: It wasn’t a fart, it was my breath.


4 Yr. Old: I’m Spiderman, Batman, and a Ninja Turtle mixed together.

Me: Awesome, what are you called?

4 Yr. Old: Teenage Spiderbat Turtle Power.

Me: Wow, what is your super-power?

4 Yr. Old: WIFI


Me: Where are your pants?

6 Yr. Old: I had to take them off.

Me: Why?

6 Yr. Old: My underwear were crusty.

Me: What? Why?

6 Yr Old: No big deal, just a wet fart.

Me: ………………….


Listening to radio in-car (Blank Space by Taylor Swift)

4 Yr. Old: Mom, how does she make a bad guy good for the weekend?


4 Yr. Old: Does she put him in time out?

Me: Yes, that must be it. Hey look a squirrel.

4 Yr. Old: Wow, where?


6 Yr. Old: Mom, watch me run.

Me: OK.

6 Yr. Old: Look, see how my legs move.

Me: Your legs look fine.

6 Yr. Old: I think there is something wrong. Will you take me to a biologist?

Me: Sure, we can schedule that.


Me: Will you love me forever and stay my baby?

4 Yr. Old: Yes. I will stay here.

Me: What happens when you get married?

4 Yr. Old: I’m not getting a wife, I don’t want any kids?

Me: Why not.

4 Yr Old: Kids are a lot of work and I don’t want anyone to tell me what to do.

Me: Won’t you be lonely?

4 Yr Old: No, I’ll get a dog.

Me: Genius!


4 Yr. Old: Why is your tummy fat?

Me: I had three babies.

4 Yr. Old: A long time ago, why is it still fat?

Me: You use to be the favorite.


6 Yr. Old: Why are you wearing glasses?

Me: It’s hard for me to see.

6 Yr. Old: They’re ugly.

Me: That’s not nice.

6 Yr. Old: Well, it’s not a good look for you.

Me: I’ll make sure to ask your permission next time I buy glasses.

6 Yr. Old: You should, you obviously need help.


9 Yr. Old: This food is gross.

Me: It’s not gross its good for you, its organic.

9 Yr. Old: Organic is gross.

Me: You eat your boogers.

9 Yr. Old: So.

Me: Boogers are organic.

9 Yr. Old: Well, boogers taste good.


4 Yr. Old: Can I sleep in your bed?

Me: No, there is not enough room.

4 Yr. Old: Why can Daddy sleep with you?

Me: Because I married him.

4 Yr. Old: I will marry you. Can I sleep in your bed now?

Daddy: Don’t be so quick to offer that up buddy.

4 Yr. Old: I really want to get in your bed.

Daddy: So did I, and now I’m stuck. Think about it.

4 Yr. Old: I’ll just sleep on the floor.


*6yr old hops over to me with his pants around his ankles.*
6yr old: Can you help me take my shoes off.

Me: Yes.

6yr old: *Sits down and beings to play with his Penis*

Me: Please do not play with that.

6yr old: Sometimes I make my penis talk. Want to know what he says?

Me: *Sigh* Sure.

6yr old: *Speaking in what I assume is a penis voice* Hi! My name is nuts! I like to jump up and down.

Me: Please stop playing with yourself.

6yr old: I named my butt too.

Me: I’m out. Go ask your father to take off your other shoe.


7yr old got a Babyalive for Christmas. This baby eats and drink and therefore wets and poops in its diaper. Our dog Velma decided to poop at the entry way after breakfast.6yr old: *Scream at his sister * Hey! Find your baby.

7yr old: Why?

6yr old: It stinks in here like poop. That baby of yours needs a change.

7yr old: OMG I can’t believe it smells this bad. MOM!! I’m going to need your help!

Me: *Walks into den* It stinks in here.

7yr old: My baby pooped.

Me: *Notices dog poop at front door* Yuck, maybe we should give her away.

7yr old: I can’t believe you would give away a baby because it smells like this. That’s cruel.

Me: Maybe someone should clean up the poop at the front door.

7yr old: Oh good, it was the dog. I thought my baby was going to smell like the garbage dump.

You never know where the conversation will take you. It’s kind of like Mr. Toads wild ride, so buckle up and enjoy the ride.

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