If you do you and I do me, we’re both going to get it right

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But, if I try to be you, or do things like you, and you try to act like me, we’re both going to get it wrong.

We’re talking about motherhood here and the norm that is

comparing yourself,

your kids

and the relationship you have with them

against

your mom friend,

her kids,

and the relationship she has with hers.

And, the further idiotic thing we do which is reaching the inaccurate, self-deprecating conclusion that we aren’t “enough,” while surmising that woman standing next to us, absolutely is.

But, see —

While I’m looking at you and wondering why I can’t be more

put-together and presentable,

neat,

present,

intelligent,

organized,

socially adept,

patient,

calm,

and

adaptable,

you are looking at me wondering the same thing and why it is that you can’t be more of those things when I obviously am.

All we ever catch of one another are small snippets of the lives each of us lead and while it may seem like one another is living a better, more mindful, and more picture-perfect life than the other — we’re not.

And, that’s why it’s helpful when we — as women, mothers, and wives — lift the curtain and give each other a backstage pass to our messy, but authentic realities.

Because when we do this, we trash the notion that any of one of us is better than another.

None of us are killin’ it, while all of us are killin’ it.

Do you understand that?

We are all doing the fudgin’ best we can which is mediocre, probably, but our “mediocre” and the impressive way we trudge through our days tackling #allthethings, it’s mom beast mode, and it’s a flippin’ talent.

I can’t tell you how many times I have compared my

appearance,

choice of clothing or shoewear,

features,

level of education,

socioeconomic class,

ability,

parenting prowess,

marriage,

and children

to that of another, all the while unknowing that she’s doing the same with her eyes on me, my family, my choices, and my life.

So what do we do about this paradigm?

You keep doing you, and I keep doing me, and we tell our stories, we share our experiences, we offer empathy and grace, we’re honest, we listen, and we support the hell out of each other — that’s what we do.

Cheers.

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