“Leave Their Ass In The Woods.” Vet Tech Sounds Off In Funny Video About Saving Baby Animals

Summer is right around the corner and for all you Bambi fans out there you know what that means, the “twitterpated” season is in full session. 

via GIPHY

The birds, the bees, and the entire wild kingdom have gotten down and busy this spring getting jiggy with it. And now?

There are a bunch of little baby animals running amok in the forests.  

But know who else is running around the woods? People. People out hiking, camping, and mountain biking. Well-meaning people, who love nature, and wild baby animals and strolling through the trees.

People who looooove animals. And who will do just about anything to keep those little critters safe. But sometimes these folks, in all their zealousness, go a little crazy.

They start to view themselves as saviors. Defenders of the animal kingdom. Righters of wild animal parents gone wrong.

And it is to these “animal savers” that Walter Brown, a registered veterinary technician at the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine, and comedian (Skinni Go Live) has a message:

“Leave these wild animals chirrin alone……..”

In a Facebook post that has gone viral with over 19K likes, 30K shares, and over 1.7 million views to date, Brown takes these pseudo wildlife rehabilitation experts to task. And it is beyond HILARIOUS.

The video starts with Brown, sitting at a desk, a face mask and a stethoscope around his neck. It is Memorial Day and he has had A DAY. Everybody has been bringing in their dogs for vomiting and diarrhea and if that wasn’t enough, it seems the fur rescue brigade has been out in FORCE. And Brown?

He is SICK O’ IT.

Here’s the second problem of the day and I mean this with all due respect. People, and it’s usually not the people of the culture, It’s usually my European friends. My pilgrim friends. My white friends…

Listen up, pilgrims.

When you go on your hike today or you go strolling through the woods, looking for Little Red Riding Hood and grandmama house, and ya’ll going to the park and ya’ll walking through and talking about going nature hiking.

When you go through the wilderness and you go in the WILD, I don’t know if ya’ll notice or not, but in the forest, in the woods, in the wild, are wild animals. Yes, wild animals have babies too. Okay? So listen, when you see a baby bird in the forest, or you see a little baby squirrel, baby raccoon, what else you all been bringing me here? Baby turtles, baby everything. Leave their ass in the woods. Don’t touch ’em.

That little baby bird sitting by himself? Leave him. Back away from the bird. His mama? She’s likely just out getting some take-out dinner for her baby. Or she’s taking a much-needed minute from all the squawking and the demands. And really, can you blame her?

Babies are exhausting. Even in the animal kingdom.

We have a robin’s nest in our backyard. That mama and daddy? They are literally beat down from trying to keep up with the demands of their twin babies. It is a never-ending dance between the two of them, one keeping an eye out while the other goes foraging for food. Back and forth, back and forth.

ALL DAY LONG.

And sometimes? The mom or dad is gone for a long time. It doesn’t matter that there are perfectly fine worms in the grass just below their nest. They probably just need a damn break from the constantly gaping beaks that greet them every time they come near the nest.

As Brown says:    

Wild animals done get tired of their chirrin too! They leave ’em right then and there. They’re going to come back, I promise ya’ll.

Parenting is universal, you guys. Feathered, furred, or human, we all need a break from our babies once in a while. So if you happen across an animal sitting on the ground with no mom in sight, LEAVE THAT BABY IN THE WILD. It’s more than likely that he has NOT been abandoned.

Wildlife belongs in the wild. That’s why they’re called wildlife.

Brown does say that it’s okay to bring them into the clinic if, and only if, they are injured. 

Now unless they’re injured, or something like that, we don’t mind seeing them.

But if there ain’t nothing wrong with ’em and we ask you,  “why did you bring him in? Why did you grab him?” And you tell us, “He was just lonely by himself,” That’s Not the right answer.

Still not convinced? Brown has a few suggestions for you. Mark the animal’s location. Leave for an hour or two. Go back and see if the baby is still there. If the baby is still in the same spot, then you can bring him to your local veterinary clinic or wildlife rehabilitation center.

So next time you’re out strolling in the woods resist the urge to be a wildlife renegade. Don’t kidnap the fur babies. An animal mama will thank you.