This Site Will Tell You Exactly How Long Your TP Stash Will Last

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We’ve all seen the viral messages for Corona Karen to quit hoarding all the damn toilet paper but what about the stashes we actually have on hand: will they be enough to last through a quarantine?

Well, now there’s an online calculator that can tell you precisely how long your TP stash will last you and your family and honestly, this is genius. 

The site called How Much Toilet Paper is a simple calculator that asks you to input how many rolls you have and how many times a day you use the bathroom. Then it tells you how many days your stash will last, and even gives you a percentage of how much of the quarantine time you’ll have TP on hand. 

But for families like mine where we have five people all competing to use that precious white gold, you can check out the advanced settings to see how various factors will impact your TP stockpile. For these details, the site asks you some pretty personal stuff like:

  1. The average number of wipes per trip
  2. Sheets per wipe
  3. Sheets on a roll
  4. People in household
  5. Days of quarantine

Yes. It gets pretty scientific but to be honest, difficulty getting TP may last a while so this calculator might be what helps families ration their supply. 

Just yesterday, CBS reported that there is not a national toilet paper shortage, the problem is the hoarding.

Stores are having problems keeping TP on the shelves because Karen and her damn squad keep showing up to wipe stores out. CNS reported that Procter & Gamble is shipping “record-high levels of Charmin and other brands.”

In an email statement to CBS, Procter & Gamble spokespeople wrote,

“Demand continues to outpace supply at the moment, but we are working diligently to get products to our retailers as fast as humanly possible. We continue to manufacture and ship Charmin to our retailers.”

The New York Post has reported that bidet sales have skyrocketed. This makes sense; if you can’t find toilet paper, then why not use water?

San Francisco based bidet manufacturer Tushy, the popular bidet brand in the US that sells a $79 bidet, has seen sales rocket past 300%. Tushy is selling out online but fear not, price gouging jerks are there to sell you bidets for a cool $700 or up. 

But really, all you need is an empty shampoo bottle, a couple of supplies you probably already have kicking around in the junk drawer, and some water.

Seriously. Check out this life hack video on five ways to make your own perfectly usable, perfectly sanitary bidet for when you run out of TP.

Good luck out there, and remember: wash your hands. 

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