7 Things Moms will need to survive the CoVid-19 Quarantine of 2020.
First things first, you are gonna need coffee, and a lot of it. Well, as a matter of fact, you are going to need a lot of liquids.
The small humans will require significant amounts of fluids over the next few weeks. From the constant whining to the drop down drag out fights with their siblings, your kids will become parched.
You too may lose your voice (and sanity) from the constant scary mommy voice. So I advise for mother to start their day with a caffeinated beverage of choice and then continue the day by re-heating said beverage of choice three thousand times.
Moms, you may also end the evening with another beverage of choice. **insert winky face**
2: LAUNDRY DETERGENT.
Not that this differs from any other given week, however, I can only assume that there will be multiple outfit changes and dirty clothes galore.
I am assuming that the massive pile of laundry will finally be tackled but not before finding out that your youngest peed the bed- which would send many moms spiraling into a subconscious -strip all sheets off the bed, wash every soft surface type of rage.
3: FENCED IN BACKYARD.
Now, this isn’t a requirement, in fact, it’s a luxury. Spend any two hours with my two children stranded inside a small space and you will quickly realize exactly how valuable a fenced in backyard can be.
Just when you are about to use your scary mommy voice because you have been attempting to “homeschool” your unruly children for the past three hours, just send those hood rats outside.
Set a timer, go over all safety rules, dress them appropriately and send them out. Set a timer depending on age and weather and tell those youngins to play until the timer goes off.
Don’t worry, they wont listen to the timer and will be in and out often to go pee at least 7 times, however, this will at least give you a few moments to reheat your coffee.
I cannot express the importance of an abundance of snacks. Consider you average weekly snack consumption and triple it.
Something about a child being at home for any given extended time and they become famished little whales that cannot get enough of any food.
Of course this is a brilliant time to offer healthy snack options and fight over food choices at least three times a day during mealtimes.
Go ahead and try all those pinterest worthy snack menus only to have your heart broken within the first seconds of them trying it. Sooo, with that being said; I suggest buying goldfish and potato chips in bulk.
This seems like a given right? However, the country’s internet usage is about to double within the next week.
Have you been considering upgrading your internet package? Now might be the time to do it. We all know that limiting screen time is essential, however, during a mass pandemic, all bets are off.
I do recommend educational activities but we all know that will result in more stress than learning (for mom and kid both) So turn on your WIFI and get those tablets charged. Download an educational app, it will make you feel better about life.
Good job mom, they are learning!
6: BIRTH CONTROL.
Y’all think I’m being funny? I’m DEAD serious. Repeat after me. We DO NOT need a coronavirus baby. All these hours at home.
Those nice clean sheets (see number 2 for reference) and you might find yourself wanting to cuddle up close to your boo.
And while I am not discouraging your extra curricular actives and if you are wanting another baby, go for it.
BUT, for those of us at max capacity, we better play it safe guys.
Yes social distancing may have kept you from cuddling your besties new bundle of joy and you might be going through some withdrawals. Repeat after me, We DO NOT need a coronavirus baby.
Lastly, we all need a sense of humor. This will be the deciding factor of who will and will not survive the quarantine.
The truth is that this really isn’t a joking matter; but that doesn’t mean we cannot take time to laugh with (or at) our children.
In a world of mass hysteria and panic; the best thing we can do for our children is to laugh. In all seriousness this is a stressful time and our children can truthfully feed off of our stress.
So lets choose to laugh at ourselves during this time. I hope you can start your laughter here with me.
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