Moms Are Sharing Their Hilarious Coronavirus Homeschool Schedules And We Can Relate

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I’m a mom of three kids, two of whom are in elementary school. Last night, our town sent out texts and emails alerting parents that schools have closed for the next two weeks in the wake of new cases of the coronavirus inching ever closer to our town.

OMG FML.

Like other mothers across the country facing multiple weeks of quarantine with their kids, I have been looking high and low for daily routine schedules that will help us get through.

YOU GUYS. I found a few that I am pretty sure will work great. 

Like this hilarious (and real AF) schedule by Jen Fulwiler who gives us a terrifying glimpse into what this is going to look like:

But if you’re looking at this schedule and thinking, “Sarah, this is wonderful but what about enriching my child with actual EdUcAtIoNaL aCtIvItIeS? Hmmm?”

Well, Karen, I’m glad you asked because LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND:

LISTEN. Should you find yourself quarantined with your kids, schedule is important. You don’t want to waste this…

Posted by Momstrosity on Saturday, March 14, 2020

This list of educational activities rivals Waldorf and will definitely give your kids a leading academic edge when they return to school. I’m talking advanced shit here, people.

Just look at the offerings – and they are free!

For Language Arts, kids can “dissect and interpret the poetry of Ludacris, Missy, and Usher,” talk about deep existential stuff.

Your kids will be waxing poetic fo shizzle. 

They also recommend that for social studies that kids get the real up close and unfiltered historical low-down by watching Drunk History.

Amen to that! But don’t worry, they also cover math,

“help mommy look over all the bills, and try to figure out how we hold everything together.”

But not theatre appreciation because that has been canceled “your drama and attitude is going to get old quick enough, and I don’t appreciate it.”

And, then in one of my work from home mom groups, I found this delight from Dawn Allcott, a freelance content writer and co-founder of Geek Travel Guide. I especially like the extremely accurate “hear vague arguing sounds” and “loud crash” scheduled before breakfast. 

We all appreciate this tweet from Dr. Jennie Weiner on Twitter. She knows what’s up. Carbs and TV. That’s how we will really survive. 

But all kidding aside here, if you’re looking for a more structured, educational list, here is a brilliant daily routine that can help you stay sane and keep your kids’ brains and bodies busy. 

Found over on Quirky Mama, this schedule was the first one to start making its rounds online. And, it’s actually useful for us overachievers. 

 

For parents looking for online resources to keep their learning and their bodies working, there are tons of amazing, high-quality educational sites that cater to kids K-12.

From dancing and silly rhymes to advanced math and even astronomy, there is something for everyone. These are a few favorites that may already be familiar to you or your kids. 

Go Noodle

Brain Pop

National Geographic Kids

IXL math for K – 12

History for Kids 

PBS Kids 

Khan Academy FREE courses 

Fun Brain 

How Stuff Works

Dr. Seuss’s Seussville 

NASA Kids Club 

Art History for Kids 

Remember, as tempting as it is to schedule a full day for your kids during a quarantine, your self-care is important too.

Scroll those sweary AF memes on Instagram and tweets on twitter, eat that chocolate you have hiding in a fake bag of frozen broccoli in the freezer, put yourself in time out, and reach out to friends for some adult convos.

We’re in this together. 

More helpful resources on the Coronavirus Outbreak:

CORONAVIRUS DASHBOARD WEBSITE CREATED BY 17-YEAR-OLD GIVES UPDATES IN REAL-TIME

WHAT YOU REALLY NEED IN YOUR CORONAVIRUS HOME QUARANTINE KIT

CONFUSED ABOUT SOCIAL DISTANCING DURING COVID-19? HERE’S WHAT FAMILIES SHOULD DO.

A BIG LIST OF KID ACTIVITIES TO DO WHEN YOU ARE STUCK AT HOME BECAUSE OF SOCIAL DISTANCING

HOW TO PREPARE FOR EXTENDED SCHOOL CLOSINGS (AND NOT LOSE YOUR MIND)

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