My Husband, the Savant


PONTILICIOUS:  Yes, I’d like to pay our auto insurance premium. Our account number? Shoot. I don’t have the bill in front of me. (slight pause). Wait. Let me see if I can remember it from last time. (randomly shoots off some long ass string of numbers). Is that right? (they say yes) Wow! That’s good.

ME: (interrupting) You’re really good with numbers.

PONTILICIOUS: I know I am. Isn’t that weird?

ME: No. I think it’s awesome. You should do something with numbers; like be a financial analyst or accountant. Or bet on horses full-time.

PONTILICIOUS: I should do something like that!

ME: Why are you so good at remembering random numbers?

PONTILICIOUS: I don’t know.

ME: Maybe you’re a savant.

PONTILICIOUS: I’m not a savant. What the hell.

ME: Okay. Maybe you’re just the idiot part. (now bent over dying laughing)

PONTILICIOUS: Thanks. The customer service rep just heard this whole conversation and had to put me on hold she was laughing so hard.

ME: I love you, Rainman. (continuing to laugh so hard tears are flowing)

This post is not meant to offend or cause harm. It was a lighthearted moment between me and my husband. Take it with a grain of salt. 😉


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