100 Things I Have Learned/Done/Thought/Completed This Year

Today is my Blogaversary. That’s right! I made up this word to commemorate my one year blogging anniversary. I have been writing about inappropriate, random, ridiculous, things for one year. It is also my 100th blog post. So to commemorate this event, I have decided to compile a year in review.

100 Things I Have Learned/Done/Thought/Completed This Year

1. Sometimes I think my kids are trying to kill me.
2. Sometimes I think about running away.
3. 2 for 1 drinks isn’t a question, it’s more of an implied statement.
4. My husband can be both the smartest and dumbest person on the planet at any given moment in time.
5. I’m the Mom who let her kid wear underwear and a cape for Halloween. He rocked it.
6. I miss sleep. I haven’t gotten 8 hours of sleep in at least 10 years.
7. Breastfeeding is seriously controversial. I DON’T GET IT AT ALL!
8. If people would get as upset about gun violence as they do about breast-feeding, perhaps the laws would change.
9. I tell my kids scary stories to keep them in their beds at night. It doesn’t work.
10. I told the world (Well, only the people who read it) that I do not publicly poop.
11. I made a PSA about asking for favors. I am against it BTW.
12. I told the world (Well, only the people who read it) that my husband pretended to be a television character to get me to sleep with him. It worked, BTW.
13. I wrote a public rant about the outrageous cost of pediatric dental rates. I got a new dentist.
14. I submitted a blog to become a video short and it was accepted. (Video has been shot and will air soon.)
15. The Elf on the Shelf is a pervert. He did unspeakable things to my daughters Barbie Doll.
16. I found out that writing is my passion.
17. After four months of blogging I wanted to quit.
18. I decided that I don’t quit things.
19. I told the internet (only the people who read it) that my vagina is broken.
20. I had a minor nervous breakdown and killed a stuffed animal in front of my kids.
21. I submitted posts to be published on at least 15 sites.
22. I was rejected on all submissions.
23. I submitted my posts each week to each of those sites.
24. I continued to be rejected.
25. I cried.
26. I complained.
27. I submitted again.
28. I was published on Blunt Moms in May. Seven months after starting my blog.
29. One week later I was published on the Huffington Post.
30. I cried.
31. I wrote about my love affair with Granny Panties.
32. Rachel Dolezal lied about being black. That pissed me off.
33. I did stand up comedy at a local bar. I almost vomited. It was so much fun.
34. My son was diagnosed with Autism.
35. I hate Autism.
36. I was published on Scary Mommy. I wrote a letter to my son that made me cry.
37. My sister moved very far away.
38. I cried. I didn’t tell her I cried, but I did.
39. Ashley Madison Website was hacked.
40. I learned that married people date.
41. I was apparently the last person on the planet to find that out.
42. I got hundreds of emails about how naive I am.
43. I didn’t need the emails, I already knew that.
44. I received offers to write for other online publications as a result of naïveté.
45. I swam in the ocean. This is a big deal because I am positive that sharks have a personal vendetta against me.
46. I survived swimming in the ocean.
47. I wrote a post about selfies. It has been republished and posted on several websites and radio
48. stations. The fact that I wrote a piece on the dangers of safe selfie’s speaks volumes does it not?
49. I started vlogging.
50. I like vlogging.
51. I said the word “Beef Curtain” in a vlog. I died a little that day.
52. I wrote a post about 50 thoughts I have through the day. I got more hate mail.
53. I started a home renovation.
54. I realized why people get divorced over home renovations.
55. I wrote an article about being jealous of my divorced friends.
56. I got a ton more hate mail.
57. I am STILL jealous of my divorced friends.
58. I became a POPSUGAR contributor to speak about Autism.
59. I learned how to share and post GIF’s. My life will never be the same.
60. I learned how to make MEME’s. My life will never be the same.
61. I hate Twitter, but I tweet all the time.
62. I have a Facebook addiction. It can’t be helped.
63. I signed up all three of my kids for soccer because I thought it would be “easier.” I’m an idiot.
64. There were 297 mass shooting in 2015. Only a handful were publicized. I cried.
65. I worry about sending my kids to school, and my husband to work due to gun violence.
66. I have watched every Republican presidential debate. They were glorious.
67. I figured out why I don’t like Donald Trump.
68. I got a Macbook. I still don’t know how to use it.
69. I binged watched a season of House of Cards.
70. I binged watched a season of Orange is the new black.
71. I put sprite in my wine. I’m a spritzer kind of girl.
72. I turned 35.
73. It sucked.
74. I decided 35 would be a great point to have a mid-life crisis. Hopefully I am not at my mid-point. Fingers crossed.
75. McDonalds is now doing all day breakfast. The world will be a much fatter place.
76. We “finished” our home renovation. (We will probably never be done.)
77. We are still married.
78. It wasn’t easy.
79. I have decided to write a book.
80. I am scared that the only copies I will sell, will be to family members.
81. Let’s be honest, the family members will expect me to give them the book for free.
82. I will be the only one to buy my book.
83. It has been a very exciting year.
84. It has been a very long year.
85. Some people like my honesty.
86. Some people say I should keep my mouth shut.
87. My father wishes I would curse less.
88. I told a room of 225+ people that my mother doesn’t wear underwear.
89. I am scared that I will have to stop writing because it doesn’t pay the bills.
90. I am scared that I will never figure out how to make “writing” pay the bills.
91. NASA found water on Mars.
92. I don’t want to live on Mars. I am positive if there is water, there are aliens.
93. I was honest with every piece I published this year.
94. I am always worried when I click the “submit” button.
95. I am blessed.
96. I am grateful for my family and friends.
97. I have found my passion.
98. I am proud of my kids.
99. I am proud of my husband.
100. I am proud of myself.

I am grateful that you have joined me on this journey. I hope you will hang around for another year of shenanigans and inappropriate conversations. I will say it, so you don’t have to.