Remember that Samuel L. Jackson movie, Snakes On A Plane? The one where hundreds of snakes are released on a passenger plane in an attempt to kill a trial witness?
Let me introduce you to its latest reincarnation. Snakes in a Christmas Tree. Only this isn’t Hollywood and this shit is REAL.
Lexi Read of Gainesville, Florida posted a video to her Facebook page with the caption:
PSA: snakes can climb up your Christmas tree
And what comes next is equal parts horrifying and terrifying. Because apparently? Snakes really can climb a Christmas tree.
The video shows a beautifully lit Christmas tree set up in the corner of a room and decorated with gold, silver, and red baubles. It is the epitome of a perfect tree.
As the camera pans up the tree, all you can hear is Lexi saying,
“Oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.”
It doesn’t take long to see why.
Because right at the top, in the spot where an angel or a Christmas star should be, is a SNAKE. A real one. Alive. And Slithering.
And “oh my god” would not have been my words of choice.
Take a look:
That long black thing, on the left-hand side of the tree? It is not a branch. It is a snake. I have no idea what kind of snake, but does it even matter?
And I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. As do the people that have so far commented on the post.
Questions like: Is that a real tree?? Did it come with the tree?? Please tell me it came with the tree.
Because as one commenter pointed out, I too, want to be 100% secure in knowing that this will NEVER happen with an artificial tree.
If it is fake (which upon closer inspection I fear may be the case), where did the snake come from??
Yes Lexi, please, for the love of all of us with Christmas trees, tell us you have a pet snake.
Based on her reaction I’m 99.99% sure she doesn’t have a pet snake.
So, if in fact, it is not a pet, how did it get in the house?? Does it have friends?? Or a family?? Is there a nest of writhing little baby snakes just waiting to come to papa (or mama) in the Christmas tree?
So many questions. Almost zero answers.
But one thing we do know for sure is that people have some sssstrong feelings when it comes to snakes in Christmas trees.
Seems they’re not fans. Because these people are sane.
It is a definite nope. No. No. And Every No from now until the end of time. Snakes in Christmas trees do not make your Christmas merry and bright. They do not bring joy or holiday cheer. They bring terror. And Nightmares.
And while some people were just screaming “NOOOOOO!” others tried to be a bit more helpful. They had some practical suggestions on how to rid the tree of its uninvited guest.
Well, one suggestion really. Which isn’t all that helpful.
As in the snake? Or the entire house in general? Because at this point I would go with the whole house. You can’t be too careful.
Howard Johnson’s seems like a good option.
The worst part of this whole snake saga? Is that snakes in Christmas trees are APPARENTLY A THING. This is not some freak one-off event. One commenter said that this happened to her. And she also had the video to prove it.
The SAME thing. And if you ever needed a reason not to move to Florida, here it is.
There is always the bright side to consider. It could have been worse.
So there’s that. I guess. And now I’m really never moving to Florida.
As for what happened to the snake? Lexi filled us in on some of the details. After 20 minutes and calling in reinforcements, the snake, it would seem, has been taken care of.
But not before it managed to escape the tree and hide behind some cabinets.
This may not be the end, however. Apparently burning the house down is still on the table even with the snake out of the picture.
And offers of a moving Go-Fund Me are already rolling in. It is, after all, the season of giving.
Here’s hoping it doesn’t come to that and Lexi and her husband can enjoy a critter-free Christmas from now on.