I have three kids. All of my kids make me wonder things. My youngest is autistic, and more often than not, my thoughts go to a very different place. I try very hard to find the humor and silver linings in our daily trials, but sometimes it just sucks. Autism sucks.
Some people do not like the term “SPECIAL NEEDS.” I can understand that. All of my children have special needs.
My oldest is very sensitive and I need to speak to him differently. My daughter is just like me, she never stops talking.
It would require an Executive Order to get her to close her trap, and she would probably still find a way to slip a word in edgewise. My youngest son however, does have some different needs.
As parents we all struggle. We are all TIRED. We are all at the end of our ropes, but how we get there might just be a bit different. The road we travel on our parenting journey is filled with both joy and pain.
Here are 20 Thoughts Every Different Needs Mom Has At Some Point
- Did I do something to make you this way?
- Why does everyday have to be so tough?
- Will this ever get any easier?
- Who doesn’t like socks? I love wearing socks.
- Who doesn’t like underwear? I mean, we are all supposed to wear underwear right?
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Maybe the diagnosis is wrong.
- Maybe someone can fix him.
- I need him to sleep. He never sleeps, and I am so tired.
- I can try that new diet I read about and take all the food dyes out, but that seems like a lot of work. I wonder if it would be worth it.
- It is hard enough to worry about a kid with no issues; this is freaking exhausting.
- Go ahead and stare at my kid as he screams in the store. You have no idea what our life is like.
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Will he get married?
- Will he always need me?
- What happens when I’m gone?
- He is hilarious. I wonder if he knows how funny he is?
- How did I get so lucky to get this little dude?
- I couldn’t love him anymore; he fills up my heart.
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They keep talking about medicating my son, maybe they should medicate me.
- Tomorrow is a new day.
- You can’t fix what isn’t broken. So I guess I will keep doing what I’m doing and know that he was made exactly the way he was supposed to be.
BEING A PARENT is the most difficult job on the planet. Not many people would argue that.
However, being a parent to a child with “different needs” takes the game to a different playing field.
Each day brings new surprises and trials. Each day brings disaster and hope. Each day is a good day, because we are still alive to enjoy it. Parenting is tough no matter what.
The journey is different for all of us, and magically a lot of it is the same. It is a fantastic feeling to be able to relate to each other. It is so nice to know that we aren’t alone.
I am sure that most of you have had some of my thoughts with your children, even if they don’t have “different needs.”
*This post was originally published on POPSUGAR*
Have you considered he might be Vaccine injured. There are thousands of children who were perfectly healthy and thriving, who after vaccines seemed to have regressed, and are now labeled autistic. MMR vaccine has been proven to cause Autism. Just a grieving grandmother of a 6month old grandson who passed away after vaccines. I was curious if you had ever looked into that.
First of all, the mmr vaccine has NOT been proven to cause autism, in fact the exact opposite. Please fact check.
Second, yes there is such a thing as vaccine injury. It’s extremely rare, and extremely tragic and my heart goes out to you.
There are such things as vaccine or chemical allergies. It does not cause autism, but can very well exasperate autism.
My child was autistic long before we begun vaccines. Looking back at all my pregnancies, I knew in my heart there was something different about him even in the womb.
There was a Dr. Thompson, from the CDC, who came out as a whistleblower and turned over documents to Congress proving that the CDC did cover up the MMR-autism connection, which was especially prevalent in African Americans. I am just commenting because the lady above’s situation (who nicely posted to try to help) is not as rare as media makes it out to be—vaccine injury is not even rare. Of my two best friends, both have a vaccine injured child. Injuries are only even reported an estimated 1% of the time. There are doctors and nurses who don’t even know how the reporting system and the vaccine court work (the vaccine manufacturers have no liability, but every time you purchase a vaccine, a percentage of that is paid into a fund to fund payouts of proven-in-court injuries.) Which is in the billions of dollars since its inception, despite most injuries aren’t reported. Good luck to everyone. And most of all, be kind.
Vaccines don’t cause autism.
I can relate. I have two special needs kids and became disabled 2.5 years ago- just to make like more interesting, lol. I, also write from home. I can relate there, too. I think it’s fine to say special needs. Those who don’t like the term probably don’t have children who fit that category. To say different needs is almost to say raising them is just like raising any other child, because they all have different needs. Maybe a good way to describe these children is to call them extra needs children. That’s more accurate in my opinion.
Hello-
My son is high function autistic, or Aspergers…or just a weird kid. I know the feeling.
I have ADHD, he has ADHD. I suppose I should write an article all about the ABC’s of our lives.
Anyway, I am with you. I have all the same questions.
I like to think we are making a positive impact by talking about it.
My youngest son also has different needs. The most difficult part is the school will not meet those needs. I have bee his voice since kindergarten. I was his voice before kindergarten as I taught him and knew that there was just a little something different. I was told to leave him alone and stop putting so much pressure on him he was the youngest of three and he was taking his time. I’ve also taught for 15 years and knew that there was something not wrong just different. Early intervention would not get involved so I waited for kindergarten thankfully I had an amazing teacher who came to me and so we should have him evaluated. That took pretty much most of the year and into the next year my son was still not receiving any accommodations or help that he needed the teacher was Fed Up and I’ll just say was not a good year finally the end of first grade he received an IEP because his family doctor gave an ADHD diagnosis the psychologist that tested him was giving me the results and talking to me as if I had a problem because I didn’t understand that my son was just “flatlined”, her exact words, with a low IQ I should just worry about what he could be able to learn and not worry about the rest. Needless to say I took him to the neurologist the next day who reassured me he was very intelligent and definitely didn’t have a low IQ. We are now almost through the third grade the school is still giving me a hard time fighting every step of the way to make life easier for them. He learns hands on but they want to continue to give him worksheets he demonstrates through projects visuals that he knows every answer on the test but still comes home with an F because he had to do multiple choice. I’ve never seen strength in a person like I have in my son. He goes to before school tutoring never complaining, he works hard all day even though children call him names. He goes to summer school every year and his Spirit has never given up. His light never dims. He’s forgiving, loving, thoughtful and his imagination and ideas go Way Beyond my other two children who are straight A honor roll students in advanced classes. Don’t get me wrong I love all three of them but it’s the heart and spirit of a different needs child, and I can personally relate, that makes you like no other.
?? you clearly are doing an amazing job! You know your children and you are their stability, each in their own unique way according to their tailored needs! Please be proud of who you are as a parent and proud of each child! Thank you for sharing! ??
Taysha, my heart goes out to you. I had a very similar experience with my daughter’s school. I don’t know where you live, but we have Families Helping Families, they provide advocates free of charge for your child. They know all of the laws that daily change and when I finally contacted them, it was life changing. They come to all IEP meeting and make sure your child gets all modifications necessary. They are amazing. The school never really listened to me and I truly had no idea what my rights were. Once my advocate got involved, the school made all the modifications with a smile on there face. My advocate helped us the entire time my daughter was in school and even once she was out. She told me the reason the school does what they recommend is because they are the next step before an attorney. Again, it is completely free of charge. They not only helped with IEP meetings, but their knowledge is amazing. Never give up.
Don’t give up.
I feel ur pain on this I have a 9 year old that hates clothing in general he is also austic and while i love him to death everyday is a question if Im doing something wrong or something I should be doing?? On the food dye front I found that just cutting out red food dye was a big help on his irritation level and wasnt real hard to accommodate. Hang in there any morning that you ge the kids off to school is a triumph!
I am a mother of a child with autism, as well as a very rare underlying genetic disorder who happens to be a medical professional so I can speak by experience and knowledge…first and foremost since it is a topic I feel very strongly about- I have read all the peer reviewed articles about vaccinations, including the dedaction from the Lancet that has stirred this misinformation about vaccines causing autism. Please stop considering vaccines as a reason for autism.
And in my son’s case the inherent brain damage caused by his underlying genetic syndrome (MPS 1-Hurler) altered the neuron pathways and affected areas of the brain that would give him various symptoms of autism.
Dealing with both diagnosis is a challenge (the genetic syndrome is still considered terminal, even with treatment). Every day. But every day I am also so thankful that I am this little boy’s mom. Because I have a unique set of skills and traits that equip me to advocate for him. He is unique and that often terrifies schools and therapists…even the medical field to some extent. Over the years of grieving my preconceived dreams for him, I have gained a new perspective on life. After being overwhelmed by his medical needs, I now see HIM and how precious of a gift he is. This is extreme parenting and I have developed more empathy than I ever could have imagined.
Through platforms such as this, support groups and medical societies I have found so much strength in the collective. Knowing you’re not alone. Finding those people who understand has helped in so many ways-especially in the guilt that can build up from hard days and bad news.
Thank you Meredith for being part of a community that offers a safe place for all parents and finding that strength and commrodary with one another.
Thank you for sharing and there is nothing wrong with ADHD or Autism. Different challenges but as you said everyone is special needs. ADHD are just wired different. Is like being left handed or right handed. Right handed side just wants us lefties think we are the inferior but we overcome their right handed ways gracefully everyday. We don’t complain the buttons on a microwave are always on the right side or it being inconvenient wired notebooks are backwards. I don’t have an internal clock like people that aren’t ADHD. I just see it as tomato or tomato and go on. Your an awesome mom! Keep doing a good job 🙂