You know what they say. It’s okay to love your animals, just don’t love your animals.
One mom in Scotland didn’t get this memo. According to the feature in DailyMail.com, Helen Cox’s little son Alfie needed a shepherd’s costume for school, so she did what any mom would do – she went to the wide wonderful world of Amazon. And then she learned a powerful lesson in buyer-beware.
What had been listed as a boy’s shepherd costume with an inflatable sheep, turned out to be a shepherd’s robe and a sheep less interested in being herded than, well, rammed.
The cheeky sheep featured eyelashes, and a red-lipsticked mouth. Oh yeah, and a big hole in its butt, if you’re into that kind of thing. Mary had a little lamb indeed.
Wee lad Alfie proudly brought his sheep to school for the nativity scene. It’s a little known fact that while the Wise Men brought gold, frankincense, and myrrh; the shepherds brought sex toys.
Alfie was sent home with his NSFW (Not Safe For Work – Or anywhere, really) sheep. The Daily Mail reported that Alfie’s obscene sheep-buying mother said,
“I just can’t believe it. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! How am I going to explain this to his teachers?”
“I have no idea if they’ve seen it was a sex toy and that’s why they sent it home – I’m mortified!”
But Alfie could not be more pleased with his promiscuous pal. “I told him, ‘you can’t have this sheep, Alfie’ – but he kept asking why so I had to make up a reason,” said Cox, when Alfie refused to relinquish his new toy.
“I told him it didn’t look like a proper sheep because it had a mustache, red lipstick and a bow on its head, but he still wanted to play with it.”
Cox plans to get rid of the sheep and blame it on the Elf on the Shelf, proving that the Elf may be annoying, but if you need help with disposing of pornographic livestock, he’s your man.
She also seems to be a mom that can think quickly, because when young Alfie asked what the hole was for, she told him for the sheep’s toilet paper. MMMM, K.
Amazon has removed the saucy sidekick from its website. A little tip, Ms. Cox – stay away from Amazon if little Alfie needs to bring something that represents his last name.
And another quick fact – you’re not the only mom that has purchased inappropriate toys on Amazon. So, at least there’s that.