Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. And the reason we all know it is because the day after Christmas, stores immediately start stocking the shelves with V-day gifts.
Slow your roll, CVS. Holiday hangover is real. We need time to recover.
While some people are all into the traditional flowers-chocolates-jewelry sort of celebration, there are more um, creative ways to commemorate such a special day.
It’s one thing if your relationship is going well- you splurge and get the BIG box of fancy chocolates for your love. Or you buy the 5.99 card. (Or you buy the 1.99 card and use the extra three bucks to buy yourself tacos, because Valentine’s Day is about love, and who doesn’t love tacos??)
But for some, Valentine’s Day is a bitter reminder of crappy past relationships and even crappier ex-partners.
You might be single, but that shouldn’t stop you from celebrating Valentine’s Day with the perfect gift- for YOURSELF.
An El Paso Zoo allows you to “sponsor” a cockroach named after your ex, and will feed it to a meerkat on live camera.
Last year, the El Paso Zoo was looking for a way to get the community involved in some of its daily activities. To that end, they created a very unique Valentine’s Day gift- for both spurned lovers and meerkats, apparently.
The program, known as “Quit Bugging Me” allowed people to name a cockroach after an ex-partner. To sponsor your cockroach, all you had to do was message the zoo’s Facebook page by Feb. 11. with the name of the offensive ex-love.
On February 14th, the zoo feeds the cockroaches to meerkats, while live-streaming the event on Facebook and their own website.
The zoo shares the growing list of exs on their Facebook page, letting viewers know exactly who’s been a bad partner.
Last year, the majority of the names submitted were men’s names- Joes and Mikes being the most prevalent.
Lesson: think twice before dating a Joe or a Mike.
The pleasure of seeing your ex’s name publicly displayed on a cockroach’s back is enjoyable enough, am I right?
Time to squirm, you nasty bastard…!
But on Valentine’s Day, that’s when the magic happens. You get to enjoy viewing your own -how shall we put it?- edible arrangement.
The zoo staff feeds each Madagascar hissing cockroach (a standard of a meerkat’s diet) to the meerkat while live-streaming the event on their Facebook page.
So you’ll not only have the pleasure of being able to adopt a cockroach to personify the man who done you wrong, but you’ll also get to watch him get eagerly gobbled up by a hungry meerkat as your fellow live-stream followers cheer along with you.
The cost of a cockroach naming? Technically nothing, though a donation to El Paso Zoo is appreciated.
But the satisfaction of watching your ex slide down the gullet of a meerkat? PRICELESS.
Although “Quit Bugging Me” was a great success last year, the zoo was evasive about whether or not they were going to repeat the program this year.
But social media’s been in a frenzy about it; links to last year’s news stories about it starting making the rounds again on Twitter.
And it looks like the people might be getting their way after all. Just seven hours ago, the El Paso Zoo popped this post up on their Facebook page…
YEP. The bugs are BACK, folks! Time to stick our ex’s little cock..roaches right into the mouths of some hungry meerkats. And on live-stream? Even better.
So if you find yourself single this Valentine’s Day, or maybe just need some closure from that particularly bad relationship, give yourself the gift that keeps on giving: revenge.
Revenge is a dish best served cold… or to zoo animals. On camera.
What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day then by sharing love, right? Meerkats LOVE cockroaches, and you can be an integral part of making sure they feel really, really loved. (And well-fed.)