Remember those early days of motherhood when you thought you’d never sleep again? When blinking was considered a power nap?
When you’d just birthed a baby the size of a watermelon out of your hoo-ha and your nipples were cracked and bleeding and all you wanted was to sleep forever and ever but you couldn’t because you knew you had to get up and keep a small human ALIVE?
Well folks, there’s a reason God made us mothers, not men.
And it’s because of poor saps like this guy who asked his mother if he could move back in with her during the week so he could get a good night’s sleep while his girlfriend takes care of their newborn.
And that sound you hear?
Is every mother everywhere responding with a collective areyouf*ckingkiddingme?? (Also, to be fair, most dads too.)
A new grandmother posted on the U.K parenting forum, Mumsnet, about her son’s request to move back home Monday to Friday because his newborn keeps waking him up in the night.
“DS (dear son) 27 and his gf recently had a baby. As you’d expect they are being woken up during the night.
DS has asked if he can move back in mon – fri so he can get a proper night’s sleep so he can concentrate on going to work and do his job effectively.”
You guys, the poor dude is TIRED. He just wants a “proper night’s sleep.”
I’d be willing to bet a gazillion dollars that his girlfriend, the mother of HIS child, would also like a proper night’s sleep. And yet…
“DH thinks the idea is outrageous and he should just ‘get on with it’”
Dear husband is a WISE WISE man.
“I feel a bit confused as to why he is even asking. Surely other new parents don’t do this?”
Surely not. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that if someone were to take a poll, nearly every new dad out there would NOT do this.
“I get sleep deprivation is hard, but I am not overly enamoured with this idea. But I don’t want to be unsupportive either – how would you respond?”
Sleep deprivation IS hard. There’s a reason it’s such an effective torture tactic. Because it’s literal torture.
But somehow, parents survive it AND still manage to function throughout the day.
Because really, what other choice do we have? Oh wait…unless you’re this guy and think it’s perfectly okay to leave your partner and your baby all.week.long and only parent on weekends. Then I guess you do have a choice.
Needless to say, people had A LOT to say about this son’s proposed solution to his sleeplessness issue.
Mostly, “WTAF dude.” It’s possible I’m paraphrasing.
One person responded,
“Tell him to grow up.”
Another woman, who just so happens to be 6-months pregnant said,
“I’m 6 months pregnant and I can’t imagine my partner wanting to do this because we are a team. What a ridiculous suggestion.
I don’t think you are being unsupportive if you say no. If you said yes I can imagine his poor partner would feel very unsupported being left with the baby 5 nights a week.”
Others were less concerned about the son’s obvious worry over his own lack of sleep and more concerned about his girlfriend’s wellbeing:
After all, he’s not the only one that’s likely running off of cold coffee and extended blinks.
Exaaaaactly. Just no.
Other helpful suggestions included using earplugs, sleeping in separate rooms, and trading off nights.
“Just no. Is he unhinged? Maybe he can sleep in a different room so he can sleep through and he does weekends, maybe?”
“The most I would offer, if there is no option for a decent nights sleep at home, is one night occasionally. A night for him and a different night for his gf to get a good nights sleep at your house ( Friday or Saturday whilst he is at home)”
For the sake of fairness, other commenters took a more diplomatic approach and questioned whether or not his job is something critical, like a doctor or train driver or possible brain surgeon.
To which his mother replied that “Yes, it is critical he is alert and can concentrate – other peoples safety is at stake.”
(I mean, taking care of a newborn infant requires one to be alert and able to concentrate, but whatever.)
And while we aren’t completely unsympathetic, one person’s response does sum it up well,
“Many many people in safety critical jobs manage this issue without moving back to their parents house and becoming part time dads.”
As for what his girlfriend thinks? According to him, she doesn’t mind.
(We’re pretty sure her exact words were, “It’s fine.” And we alllll know what that means, except this guy, apparently.)
In his defense, he IS doing a lot (insert massive eye-roll here). He tells his mom that when he gets home from work, “he does “everything” for the baby – feeding, bathing, cleaning all the bottles, laundry, cooking, etc.”
Huh, sounds a lot like he’s being an adult.
Also, what does he think his girlfriend has been up to all day while he’s been at work? Eating bonbons and sleeping away the hours until he comes home? Yeah, no.
Parenting is not a “Choose your own adventure” book. You don’t get to pick and choose when you want to do it. It is 24-7, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
And yes, it is exhausting. Really freaking exhausting. This is all the more reason why you need to do it TOGETHER.
You can check out the original post here.