Dear Stalker – An Open Letter


For almost a year, I have endured the unwelcomed communications and advances of someone I now consider to fit the profile of a stalker. I’ve tried to keep this quiet and personal, yet despite my repeated attempts to reason with this person and asking over and over again to be left alone, he continues to find ways to contact me. It’s now elevated to the point where he has contacted my best friend in a vain attempt to find an alliance. I’ve finally reached my breaking point. In addition to filing charges, I’ve decided to make this public through this open letter:

Dear Stalker:

Yes, you. You who denies that your behavior is in any way unacceptable. You who denies that the things that you write are reprehensible. You who refuses to stop. I’m talking to YOU.

As a former co-worker, I once had deep respect for you. You were filled with brilliant ideas and worked hard to help build a vibrant online community. But something happened along the way. Something snapped and you became a completely different person – a person who deserves no respect and every bit of anger that I am about to unleash on you.

Take these words to heart: I have never been interested in you outside of a professional relationship. I will never be interested in you – EVER – on any level. You are not my type. You’ve never been my type. You will NEVER be my type.

I’m happily married with child, yet that doesn’t seem to matter to you. You believe you are above normal standards. You believe you are never wrong. You are a narcissist in the worst possible sense.

What you consider to be innocent flirtations, I consider to be lewd, disgusting comments that no man should ever make to a woman. What you consider to be playing, I take seriously.

You’re a very sick individual who believes that one day you will wake up and I will be at your side. That your business ambitions will exceed that of Google. That you are actually cool. You’re not. You’re pathetic, and your grandiose illusions are a tell-tale sign of someone squarely off their meds.

On and off for almost a year now, I have put up with your crap – blocking account after account. To which you have resorted to leaving comments on my blog, contacting me via Twitter, and now, emailing my best friend. This is where it stops. This is where it stops, because the next step is having you locked up. There you’ll be in the company of men who hate men who stalk, harass, or hurt women or children. The romantic relationship that you’ve been looking for will come in the form of an ass beating and probably other uncomfortable experiences. You will not be able to defend yourself or fight back because you’re weak. You will have no control and be at their mercy. You will feel violated and sick – just as I’ve felt for the past year.

Several years ago, you showed up at my doorstep at 9:00 at night – uninvited and unannounced. You traveled all the way from the other side of the country, for what? To humiliate yourself by wearing a straitjacket at the door? You have issues. Deep, deep, issues. I was not happy to see you. I was shocked, upset, and considerably disturbed by the experience. It was a violation.

I know that you’ve done this to at least one other woman. She was also a former co-worker, who also wanted nothing to do with you. I only hope that she hasn’t been put through what I’ve been put through in recent months. I wish that upon no woman.

For the record, my name is not Raven. I’m not tight, nor do I have black hair. The visions in your head are false. I’m not a bad girl waiting to emerge and unleash fireworks upon the world. I’m the total opposite. I’m a mother, a wife, a friend, a bookworm, a writer, a rather boring person who would rather cook a good meal for her family than party the night away.

Some will condemn me for making this public, because they’ll know immediately who you are; but they haven’t walked a mile in my shoes. I didn’t want this unnecessary drama. I didn’t ask to have my life turned upside down. I’ve asked you to stop. Over and over and over again. Others have asked you to stop. You have caused me enough misery and deserve no sympathy or hand-holding for STALKING AND HARASSING another human being.

You are right about one thing: life IS too short. It’s too short for me to allow a scumbag like you to cause days of anguish and despair. I’m sick of pacing the floors wondering how to rid you from my life. The next step is naming names, posting the emails, and sharing any and all communications. You can’t deny any of what you’ve done, because it can all be traced back to you. As hard as you already try, you can’t falsify reality.

This is the end of the road. It’s a dead end and always has been. So stop. STOP. Or you WILL feel the wrath of a woman who has had enough.




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