We love you, social media; we really do. It’s an amazing thing to be able to connect and laugh with like-minded people all over the world, so thanks for that.
Our kids love it, too. Sure, Snapchat filters seem cool… but I wouldn’t know, because I’m old. I tried figuring out how to use Snapchat but failed miserably, & I’m pretty sure my teens blocked me immediately anyway.
And TikTok? Kids are OBSESSED with TikTok. To me, TikTok is as if Vine and Musicaly had a baby. My kids are always showing me clips of fellow teens doing funny things set to music.
They laugh. I don’t…. because I don’t get the joke. Then my kids laugh harder, at ME, because I’m such an old loser.
But TikTok seemed like a refreshing change from other social media apps that were getting kids to do all sorts of stupid “challenges”.
Remember the Tide Pod challenge? That was the one where kids would film themselves eating Tide laundry pods. Yes, eating laundry detergent.
Or how about the skin eraser challenge, where the teen rubs a pencil eraser quickly against his or her skin until a burn injury is created.
So TikTok was our respite from weird teen challenges– it was a cheerful, happy place of music, laughs, & teen snarky humor.
TikTok’s testicle challenge is why people can’t have nice things… like social media.
TikTok’s newest trend is the “testicle taste challenge”, in which people are dipping their balls into soy sauce to see if they can taste it.
You might need to read that again, because at first glance, it won’t make sense.
Twice? Nope, still not comprehending it, but feelings of ickiness are creeping in, right?
Reading it a third time gives you a mental visual, and- NO. Just NO.
Twitter can technically be blamed for this ball-sy challenge coming to life.
A 2013 scientific study about testicles possessing taste receptors somehow resurfaced on Twitter, & had been going viral.
While the study focused on the effect of blocking testicular taste receptors, Twitter was giddy to remind the world that:
Balls have tastebuds!
balls have tastebuds!
BALLS HAVE TASTEBUDS!
BALLS HAVE TASTEBUDS! pic.twitter.com/xDaBZC4JI0
— images that might be cursed (@mightbecursed) January 12, 2020
While the human body has taste receptors in several areas, including the stomach, brain, and lungs, social media was all about the balls.
TikTok user Regan posted this scientific revelation on TikTok and asked men to confirm if they found it to be accurate.
@cryinginthecarplease I need to know? original sound – cryinginthecar
And the tsunami of testicle testing began…
TikTok user @alxjames was eager to conduct this scientific experiment… in his car. Tiny cup of soy sauce in hand, he brushed some sauce on his “boys” like he was basting a turkey.
And then he smiled in shocked delight when it turns out, yes, he could taste the saltiness in his mouth.
The salt of the SOY SAUCE, I mean. Not the salty… never mind.
@alxjamesoh.. my god….. ??? original sound – alxjames
He can taste the salt, people! And I can taste the bile creeping up the back of my throat.
Here’s another one. Because after all, they come in pairs…
@matthewlushalxjames WHAT THE F #SoySauce #taste #tastechallenge #calvinklein? original sound – matthewlush
The testicle taste challenge has now migrated from TikTok back to Twitter and YouTube. Because if there’s a dumb challenge involving BALLS, people are balls in!
Women are now coaxing their guys into trying this… on camera. Because if it’s not posted on social media for the world to see, it didn’t happen. Apparently.
I saw this Tik Tok saying people can taste with their testicles so I made my fiance test this theory with a bowl of soy sauce. IT WORKS ?????
— juliet ?? (@youngblondemom) January 15, 2020
Yup, this is our latest trend, folks. There are possibly legions of young men out there right now with soy-flavored sacs and salty tongues.
So while the science of the experiment clearly proves to be true, only on social media could something this weird and personal seem worth sharing with the world.
Kids: Just Say NO.
Can you imagine this happening in the “real world”? How about Gordon Ramsay taste-testing “Hell’s Kitchen” dishes on camera with his testes? HELL NO.
While it’s cool that testicles have taste receptors, it’s not cool that I need to dodge video clips of random guys dipping their junk in all sorts of sauces on my social media feeds.
And I’ll never look at a soy sauce packet the same way again. Thanks, TikTok.