2020 just might be the “year of the vag”, people, because already there’s been plenty of discussion on social media about the vagina.
We started out with some internet hooplah surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow’s apparent obsession with the hoo-hah. The promotional poster for her 6-episode miniseries about Goop features her smiling coyly from inside what could only be a perky pink vaginal vortex.
Vaginas are fascinating. There’s a lot going on down there, and there’s often an equal amount of confusion and/or inaccurate beliefs about just what’s going on down there.
(Especially when it involves the men: hence the infamous “Twitter ‘R’ Tampon Discussion” of 2019, for example.)
Sometimes people need help with the basics. And when it comes to “educating” those in need of the ‘deets, social media is typically happy to help: with hilarious results.
A question concerning how frequently a woman should clean her vagina was posed to a Facebook group, and the responses are comedic proof that the vagina is still a mystery to many.
In a private Facebook group dedicated to makeup tips and tricks, one member posed the apparently random question:
Granted I’m not a member of this group, but I’m going to go out on a limb & assume this is NOT standard topic convo for this Facebook page.
But people (especially men) want to know: just what goes ON down there? How do you really clean a vagina? Are there tools involved? Special lotions? Potions? How often does this process “go down”, and where??
Thankfully we women aren’t afraid to get real when it comes to the nitty-gritty; the members of the group were happy to share how they handle the “maintenance” of their own lady bits.
The responses were so perfect that group member Nana Tran screenshot them to share with the Facebook world, & we are so glad she did because they are hysterical.
Disclaimer: Because there WILL be people who think these responses are actually factual, Nana Tran added to her post the following edit:
These women are being sarcastic!!!!!
So, how does one go about freshening up their vajayjays?
And no more lifting a hefty bottle of Clorox: think of the on-the-go convenience of Clorox Wipes!
See- Clorox is clearly essential. Spritz a little Lysol in there, too (I personally prefer the lavender scent, but you do you). And be sure to add salt and pepper… to taste.
Of course, you could always skip the bleach & go the old-fashioned route: some elbow grease and a thorough wire scrubbing.
A steam cleaner? TWICE daily? What about a dry cleaner? Could I drop my vag off and pick it up, pressed & ready to go?
Or some girls prefer to go this route: the annual vagina touch-up. Spray some air freshener down there, & you’ve got 364 days of freedom from… freshening….?
Fabuloso is a multi-purpose cleaner that leaves your house smelling wonderfully fragrant, so soaking your vag over a light simmer makes total sense. And as this commenter points out:
I like it to smell fresh for my guests when they walk up in there.
Gotta keep things fresh for the guests that might “pop” on by, am I right?
It’s SEVEN tablespoons, not eight. Accuracy is essential. That mile-long jog might be a challenge, but hey- at least it’s only every 5 days.
She had me at “Dollar Tree”. Mix that solution up, dip your toilet brush in, and gets to scrubbing. Bonus: you can scrub your toilet with the same mixture, & both your vagina and your toilet will be gleaming.
For extreme cases, some additional heat may be required… but add a little essential oil and you’ve got yourself one clean cooch!
And my personal favorite: the au naturale approach. Just don’t forget to grab it off the roof rack when you get home in case of rain. After all, no one likes a soggy vag…
While commenters snarkily shared their “methods” of cleaning their vaginas, the real question at hand was how often one should clean their vagina.
And based on the countless creative responses, it’s clear that it should be often enough to NOT necessitate the use of Clorox, air fresheners, or Fabulouso.
And it’s also pretty obvious that some of us still have a lot of learning to do.