Welcome to Take It or Leave It, an advice-ish podcast for parents brought to you by Grove Collaborative.

Take it or Leave it is brought to you by Grove Collaborative. Visit http://grove.co/takeit and grab your “Free” gift with order.

Age: 41 years old
Occupation: Post-Adoption Support/Social Services
Current Residence: Hartsel, Colorado
Relationship Status: Married
Survival Skills: Land Navigation, Water Sourcing/Purification, Bow Drill Fire, Plant & Rock Identification, Shelter

Tara Skubella A.K.A. “Mountain Mama” lives in the real South Park of Colorado at an elevation of 9,500 feet. She is surrounded by numerous fourteen thousand foot peaks in every direction and lives in one of the most rural and extreme weather locations in the state. She enjoys backpacking, hiking mountain peaks, snowshoeing, learning local history and geology, and just spending as much time outside as possible. Tara also finds time to stay active in the nearby town of Buena Vista by volunteering and being part of the town’s local melodrama group.

Today, Tara enjoys living a simple semi-homesteading life style by raising chickens, stocking the freezer full of fresh trout, living in a small passive solar home, heating the house with wood, working from home, spending time with family and supporting her daughter’s homeschooling.

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Parenting Crap

Appalling  “First Dance” Instructions For Young Girls

Section Intro:

Ashlee Allen Fegan, a mom from Utah, recently shared a list of “rules” for a dance at a Church of the Latter-Day Saints that left her feeling genuinely shocked and horrified. In what seems to be a piece of paper leftover from Gilead in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, the dance coordinators laid out a set of appalling instructions aimed at young girls that focused on making the male attendees feel comfortable.

“Don’t forget what the approved dress code standards are when choosing your outfit,” said the flyer. “You don’t want the embarrassment of being asked to go home and change. And you don’t want the guy dancing with you to feel uncomfortable because of the questionable outfit that you somehow justified.”

Section Notes

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Trending Parenting New

A Dad of 3 Pretty Much Just Wrote the Handbook on How to Be a Supportive Partner

Section Intro:Ted Gonder, a father of three, knows a thing or two about being a dad. In a viral post that’s making its rounds on Facebook, Ted shares some parenting wisdom he’s learned in the last five years and hopes that other soon-to-be parents will take his words to heart.

Section Notes

“I’m now 29 and have three kids with my wife, Franziska, who carried and birthed them all like a pro,” he explained. “Here’s what I would tell my childless 24 year old self about how to be a supportive partner during the ‘becoming parents’ phase:

1. Wifey carried baby IN her belly for nine months. So you carry baby ON your belly for nine months every chance you get. Not only does it help her recover but it bonds you to your kid more than imaginable.
2. Wifey is breastfeeding and — while beautiful and fulfilling for her — it’s exhausting. So you change EVERY diaper you can. From diaper #1 onward. You will get over the grossness fast. And you will prevent imbalances and resentment in the relationship; in fact, when all your wife’s friends are complaining about how absent and unsupportive their husbands are, your wife will be bragging about you.
3. Make her the decaf coffee every morning. Even if she leaves it cold and forgets to drink it most mornings because she falls back asleep while you’re working or (later) taking the kids to school. She was up all night feeding the baby so help start her day in a way that helps her reset.
4. Tell her she is beautiful and help her see that in the moments when she is feeling most self-critical and hopeless about her body. Remind her of times when she achieved goals in the past. Remind her she is a superhero. She literally just moved all her organs around and gained 20 kilograms to give you a child that will be a gift to you for the rest of your life. Help her see past her body image issues and stay focused on a positive goal, one day at a time.
5. Take the heat. Hormones are crazy, both pre- and post-birth. She won’t seem like herself every day and sometimes she will say things she wouldn’t say if she didn’t feel like she was hungover, caffeinated, and on steroids. Remember your job is to be her rock through all of this, so toughen up and keep perspective when her tongue is sharper than you know her best self intends. Normal will return soon and you want her to be grateful that you kept it together when she wasn’t, not resentful and disappointed that you hijacked her emotions by making her problems yours.”

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Love and Marriage

50 Cheap date night ideas

[Tiffany] Section Intro:If you don’t take the time to nourish it, your marriage relationship can evolve from a relationship of loving adoration into one that feels like you’re nothing but business partners managing home, work, and family schedules together. Date nights sound like a great idea, but they can be expensive. Here are cheap date night ideas that almost any couple can do together.

Section Notes

These 50 ideas are: 

1. 1. Take a new class
   2. Do yard work together
   3. Play board games (WYR is one of our favorites!)
   4. Learn a new hobby
   5. Build dream houses with Legos
   6. Feed ducks at the pond
   7. Go for a picnic
   8. Play on a playground – they’re not just for kids!
   9. Have a movie marathon
   10. Go to the library
   11. Go for a walk & talk
   12. Attend a free community event
   13. Camp out in your back yard
   14. Plan a scavenger hunt in a mall or park
   15. Build a fort and spend the night in it
   16. Bake something yummy and share it
   17. Play 1-on-1 basketball
   18. Prepare a 3-course meal
   19. Dinner by candle light
   20. Go for a swim
   21. Learn a new sport
   22. Play video games
   23. Refinish a piece of furniture
   24. Play sharades
   25. Have a Nerf gun war
   26. Hike a new trail
   27. Host a couples game night or BBQ
   28. Attend a high school or college play
   29. Tour a museum
   30. Offer service to someone in need
   31. Go camping and make s’mores
   32. Visit the local zoo or aquarium
   33. Volunteer together in the community
   34. Go roller skating
   35. Exchange massages
   36. Interview each other or write love letters
   37. Work on family history
   38. Reenact your first date
   39. Watch a movie at a drive in movie theater
   40. Go fishing
   41. Power outage date night – do everything in the dark or by candlelight
   42. Star gaze at night on a rooftop
   43. Watch your wedding video or look at photographs
   44. Park on a hill and look out at the city lights
   45. Go bird watching
   46. Play ping pong
   47. Browse a flea market
   48. Dream-storm together and write down your goals
   49. Build a puzzle
   50. Go on a long bike ride