“He’s too big to be held”
“Stop treating him like a baby”
To those people who’ve expressed their “concerns” with me.. I have a message for YOU.
You’re not there when he falls down and gets hurt and needs me to pick him up to make it all better.
You’re not there when he has a bad dream at night and can’t go back to sleep without being held because that hug reassures him he’s safe from the monsters.
You’re not there when he comes home and he’s uncontrollably crying because he’s forced to act tough around certain people because they won’t give him the comfort and affection he so desperately needs when I’m not around.
So I hold him every chance I get.
People need to stop treating children.. especially boys, like they are grown adults and even.. adults need to be held sometimes too.
Emotion is normal, wanting love and comfort is normal.
What’s NOT normal is telling a child or another parent that holding them passed the age of one isn’t ok.
I will hold my son until I physically can’t hold him anymore, or when he doesn’t need it anymore.
Right now I can hold him, right now he needs it and right now until forever I will do what I feel is best for my child and I don’t give a flying you know what to anyone who says or thinks differently.
“He’s too big to be held” “Stop treating him like a baby” To those people who’ve expressed their “concerns” with…
Posted by Annie Hartigan on Sunday, February 16, 2020
Believe this 100%!!! I always hug my kids . The two boys more than my Daughter but I still try ! She’s to o independent. When she needs it I have been there.
Holding them in an expression of care, compassion or affection is absolutely desirable. Enabling avoidant behavior is not.
Be careful not to create a fragile, anxious child. Your parental duty is not to prevent every single hurt feeling, fear or bad mood, but to teach HIM to deal with those things himself, age appropriately, as he grows and matures.
If you coddle a child, he will not learn how to manage his own emotional state, which eventually he must learn to do… without you.
Sorry. Reality. You are making this more about your attachment, and not about what the child needs.
Agree with Jane. Try not to enable your son. Rather actually care for the well being of him.