I can’t stop thinking about the woman alone in the delivery room.
The one who’s about to have her first baby. She doesn’t know what to expect as she lays there hooked up to machines, with her husband streaming on FaceTime as the internet cuts in and out.
She’s in pain, crying in screams, while her spouse feels so helpless because he can’t be there with her, holding her hand and telling her she’ll be okay.
The one about to have her third baby, but it’s a high-risk pregnancy. She wanted her partner and doula in the delivery room with her, but now she’ll be alone.
She knows what to expect, the unexpected—but she feels uneasy. What if something goes wrong? What if she needs an emergency C-section? And she won’t be able to bounce a quick decision off of her partner, she’ll have to go with her gut– and that’s a lot of pressure.
So, she worries.
I can’t stop thinking about the woman alone in the delivery room.
Afraid.
In terrible pain.
No doula or spouse to support her.
Then after her birth, no visitors.
I see her rocking the baby at night as he cries, earth-shattering wails with no one to switch off with.
I see her brought to tears as she fails to breastfeed.
I see her lying in bed, postpartum, and feeling all different kinds of emotions with no one to express them to in the middle of the night. And if she calls or sends a text, there will be no reassuring hug that everything will be okay.
Her partner has to wait to meet his child.
Her other kids have to wait to meet their new sibling.
Yes, it’s prudent with coronavirus running rampant, but it’s hard.
Women are strong, and they can do hard things, especially for their children.
But childbirth is hard with all the supports.
Those first days postpartum are hard with a partner present.
So, I can’t stop thinking about the woman alone in the delivery room.
Say a prayer for her tonight.
Let her know she isn’t alone– because her family is in your heart and thoughts.
Because, I’m thinking about the pregnant women of NYC and praying this doesn’t have to happen everywhere.
I can’t stop thinking about the woman alone in the delivery room. The one who’s about to have her first baby. She…
Posted by Living A FULL Life on Tuesday, March 24, 2020
As a midwife I find this so sad that you think this is what we would let the birth experience be like – midwife means ‘with woman’ and in the UK no one will give birth alone or die alone as nurses will be with their patients for their last breath and to enjoy the first breath of their babies – that’s what we do ?
On April 3rd I was that woman. I went in at 2:30am. My husband had to drop me off at the ER entrance because he had to wait for his parents to pick our other two kids up. They lived 2 hours away, but because they had to cross into a reservation they did not want to do it at night. So my husband waited. I was in hard labor as I waited to the doctors and anesthesiologist to get there. Since I was a planned c-section I was not prepared to go into labor. So it was almost like my first and going through it without my husband was hard. We knew he wouldn’t be able to go into the OR with me, but it was still hard. We got to FaceTime during the c-section and my kids got to see their sister. A nurse stayed with my baby while I was in recovery. The staff really made my experience the best they could through the circumstances. And though I missed the visits especially from my other two kids it was nice to have the time alone with my husband and new baby.