[tweetthis]I use to be organized. I use to be on time. I use to make lists and complete tasks. Then, I had kids. [/tweetthis]It seems as though I can’t catch my breath or get back on track. I keep telling myself that at some point I will find more free time, more money, more patience. I lie to myself so I can feel better about my hot mess of a life. I also lie to my kids, my husband, my friends, my boss, and random strangers at the grocery store. Not big lies, just tiny white lies so I can survive the day.
13 White Lies I tell on a daily basis.
- I was going to do that: “That” can pretty much be anything I was supposed to do but didn’t get around to. It can be dinner, dishes, a shower, grocery shopping, mailing a letter, the list is endless.
- I promise I will be there on time: I have the best of intentions. I swear. But I lied. I will never be there on time.
- I will go to the store later: Later might mean in an hour, but it probably means when there is absolutely nothing left in the fridge but one slimy carrot and moldy piece of bread.
- Yes, I saw you: I only have two eyeballs, and I can only watch one kid at a time. Of course I am lying when I say “I saw you.” The kids don’t need to know that, so I smile and say, “That was awesome!”
- I will wash it: I do about three loads of laundry a day. At some point it will get washed. It might be today, it might be tomorrow. If you need the shirt right now, learn to do laundry.
- I’m awake: If I sit down for more than 3 minutes I will most likely shut my eyes. That doesn’t mean I am sleeping, I am just resting my poor tired eyes.
- I heard you: I may have heard you, I may not have heard you. You don’t really know, do you?
- I remember: I don’t remember.
- It will get easier: I want to believe that as the kids grow life will get easier. My oldest will be 10 in the spring. My youngest just turned 5. So far, not any easier.
- The house will stay clean today: I spend the day picking up toys, laundry, dishes, and food off the floor. [tweetthis]Parenting is like a never-ending game of Hungy Hungy Hippo and it’s my job to gobble up all of the crap. [/tweetthis]Some how there is still a mess when the kids go to bed.
- I couldn’t find a sitter: I know I was supposed to go to Girls Night Out, but that would require putting on pants and after a long week that just ain’t happening.
- I’ll do it first thing: First thing, never really means the first thing. The first thing I do is make coffee. I might get to it second, but that is probably a lie too. When I forget to do it, I will revert to lie #8 and tell you that I do in fact remember, but that is also a lie.
- I’d love to help: [tweetthis]If you are asking me to help you and the role I will play will require me to nap, than yes, I would love to help.[/tweetthis] If you are asking me for anything else, I will most likely help, but I probably won’t love it.
In the wise word of #Pitbull, every day above ground is a great day so let’s have the
#TimeOfOurLives. I will keep telling my white lies in order to survive “living the dream.” If you are also guilty of telling a few fibs here or there, take comfort in knowing you are human and that’s life.