Is It Normal To Feel Like You’re Constantly Drowning? Because That’s How I Feel Right Now.

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Parenting in a pandemic is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I would rather have another C-section than do this. I feel like it has broken me down to my core and I’m just walking around trying to do life the best way I know how.

And that way has not been stellar.

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So once again, I have decided to list what I feel my failures during the last nine months have been.

Just to make you feel better about your parenting because I can’t be the only one!

My children have zero screen time limit anymore. They could sleep with a tablet in their bed and I wouldn’t give a flying fuck as long as they were quiet.

My six-year old has been playing Fortnite. I heard a slight gasp from moms that might monitor screen time.

My three-year old still isn’t completely potty trained. I had nine months to do this.

But I didn’t. I waited until I could no longer wait. Because potty training is gross and boys pee everywhere and that pee smells.

I have lowered my standards of clean. I thought that you were supposed to clean more during a pandemic, but not me. I just watched more Netflix.

Henry has been late or missed his kindergarten Google Meets because of my work schedule. I never thought I would say my six-year old has video conferences.

I had a mental breakdown because I had to work full-time from my office but my son had to be in kindergarten full-time at our house and I couldn’t be two places at once.

We ended up having to hire a babysitter. I am lucky that we have the resources available to do that. I don’t know how most people out there are doing it.

I have given up on entertaining my kids. I don’t even try. I just don’t have the energy. I am absolutely exhausted in every form of the word.

I have yelled. A lot. About everything.

I think that 98% of the words coming out of my mouth are no or shit. I have lost my temper. I have cried. I have had to apologize. A lot.

I have let the boys wrestle like they are in a cage fight right in front of me and I haven’t done a thing. My selective hearing has really improved. So that’s a plus!

I don’t care what they eat. My three-year old pees every 12 seconds so he can have candy and I keep handing it over.

This list could go on and on and on. But I’m going to stop there.

Yes, I have hardcore failed at a lot over the last nine months. But we are all still here and kickin’ so I’m counting that as a win.

Just remember, not a darn thing about what we are doing right now is normal.

Virtual school is not normal.

Not being able to go where you want when you want with who you want is not normal. Working from home while your child is being virtually schooled is not normal. Wearing a mask everywhere is not normal.

So parenting can’t be normal.

I don’t know if it’s normal to feel like you are constantly drowning, but that’s how I feel right now. Like I’m in the middle of a body of water and I can’t swim anymore.

And that’s why we have mom guilt. Shouldn’t we give ourselves grace? I know I should, but it feels like I’m past that point. Do I need a divine intervention? Most likely, yes. But keep your head up. This is hard, but not impossible. We will persevere. We always do.

Until Next Time,

Jamie

Mom Guilt: Parenting in a Pandemic

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