Some people have nightmares about zombies or monsters. Others of us have nightmares about laundry. Because laundry? Sweet mother love, it NEVER ends.
And as a parent, doing laundry for multiple people, multiple times a week, IT IS A LOT.
On average? At 5 loads a week, 52 weeks a year, multiplied by 15 minutes a load for prep and folding? That’s 3900 minutes spent doing laundry. PER YEAR. So like, a gazillion hours over the course of our lifetimes.
Remember back in the day? Pre-kids? When you would meticulously sort out your tiny piles of laundry into whites, delicates, cold water wash vs hot water wash. When you would make sure you kept your towels separate from your leggings so they wouldn’t be covered in lint?
There was a strategy to your laundry game.
Now? Now there are no strategies. There is one game plan. Get it in. Get it out.
And hope to the laundry gods that you remember to switch it over from the washer to the dryer before it starts to go moldy and you have to begin the process all over again.
And sometimes mistakes happen. There are laundry fails. Things like accidentally throwing in a red sock with the whites. Or forgetting to check pockets and finding bits of Kleenex stuck to your clothes for days. Sometimes instead of Kleenex, it’s Silly Putty (because kids).
Or in this mom’s case? It’s a pair of her thongs.
In a Facebook post that has gone viral with 75K likes, 12K comments, and 78K shares, Heather Nicholson regals readers with the day that will forevermore be known by its theme song, Thong Song, and I dare you not to start singing, “Let me see that thong…”
She begins her tale with the words veteran parents have learned to dread:
*Hunter hops in car*
“Momma, something funny happened today.”
At this point, Heather has NO IDEA what is about to go down.
*He starts rolling up his pant leg and pulls out my THONG!*
That’s right my friends. A thong.
As in underwear, panties, knickers, briefs. Not bits of Kleenex, not even Silly Putty. A thong. Holding on for dear life to the inside of her son’s pant leg with the magic sticking power of static cling. And please, someone, buy this poor woman some Bounce dryer sheets.
And apparently? He discovered it during music class. Which begs the question:
And just in case you’re getting your panties in a knot and questioning if in fact, that is a thong and not a headband or some other piece of fabric, let me present you with Exhibit A: Panties 101:
So yup, a thong. But the story doesn’t end here.
Poor Hunter panicked when he saw the wayward thong peeking out from the bottom of his pant leg, so he did the only thing he could think to do – he shoved it back up AND LEFT IT THERE. ALL DAY.
Because he thought his mom would want them back. Some heroes wear capes, some wear pants. With their mother’s underwear trapped inside.
Hunter spent the day pretending to tie his shoe so he could ensure the traveling thongs stayed safely hidden.
Then he said he kept pretending to tie his shoe all day to shove them back up his pant leg.
Bahahahahahahahahaha. And if you ever doubted if your kids have your back, let this be a reminder, that when it comes to family? There ain’t nothing we won’t do.
Heather ends her post with the following words:
After I caught my breath, I snatched them back and said “THANKS, SON!”
I mean, if you don’t save your moms thong, are you even a mommas boy?
I mean, really, are you even?
People are loving the post, and clearly, Hunter is not alone. The comments are full of others who have had similar experiences:
And underwear doesn’t discriminate. It will attach itself to anyone and anything. Not just our poor, unsuspecting children:
Velcro. The gift that keeps on sticking.
And least you think that it’s just panties that have a nasty habit of static clinging themselves to other articles of clothing. Think again.
Not all of us have the presence of mind that Hunter had either. Some of us, in our panic, do something we may later regret.
Let this be a lesson to us all. When it comes to laundry you may want to re-think just what you wash and dry together. Because clearly? You may get more than you bargained for.
OH.MY.GOSH. ????*Hunter hops in car* "Momma, something funny happened today."Me: "Oh yeah? What's that?"*He…