What you feel every day as a parent? It’s real — and a new national study confirms it.
Researchers surveyed more than 700 parents nationwide and found something painfully honest: 57% of parents self-reported burnout — not just tiredness, but deep emotional and physical exhaustion from parenting itself.
And here’s where it gets real: it’s not just parenting that’s exhausting — it’s the pressure to do it perfectly. The study shows that burnout isn’t random — it’s strongly tied to internal and external expectations: how we judge ourselves, how we think others judge us, and the endless belief that we should be doing better — whether it’s spending enough quality time with our kids, keeping a clean house, maintaining a relationship with a partner, or comparing ourselves to picture-perfect families.
One of the lead researchers, Kate Gawlik, who is a parent herself, said it bluntly:
“You can look at people on Instagram… and I always think, ‘How do they do that? How do they seem to always have it all together when I don’t?’”
That comparison — that collision between reality and what we think we should be — isn’t just exhausting. It’s toxic. The study actually links this pressure to a culture of achievement that pushes parents toward burnout — a state defined by emotional exhaustion, detachment, and feeling like you’re always failing even when you’re doing your best.
And the consequences? They don’t stop with you. The research found that parental mental health strongly impacts children’s mental health. When parents are overwhelmed and burned out, there’s a higher likelihood of harsher reactions — including yelling, criticism, and other stress-driven responses — which also shows up in higher rates of anxiety, depression, and emotional struggles in kids.
Let’s unpack that:
- You’re not slack for needing rest — 57% of parents report burnout.
- It’s not just the work of parenting — it’s the pressure to be perfect that pushes you over the edge.
- Burnout doesn’t just hurt you — it impacts your child’s emotional health too.
We talk a lot about self-care in parenting circles — but this study confirms what so many of us already feel in our bones: the weight we’re carrying isn’t about love or effort — it’s about unrealistic expectations that we were never meant to meet.
So let me say this in plain language you can feel behind every word:
Burnout isn’t a personal failure. It’s a symptom of a culture that tells you to do the impossible and then blames you when you can’t.
If you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or feel like you’re failing despite trying everything — you’re not alone. And this research doesn’t just validate your experience — it highlights something bigger: we have to stop telling parents to be perfect, and start giving them real permission to be human.
If you can relate to this, leave a comment.