Social media is an amazing place for moms to find connection- the Internet can provide tremendous support & community for moms who need it.
There are tons of mom groups out there; search Facebook & you’ll find hundreds that focus on virtually any parenting topic or interest.
But the online mom community also has a dark side to it, in the form of “mom-shaming”. The Internet loves a good shaming, & many mothers are more than happy to let their fellow moms know exactly how they feel they aren’t measuring up.
One mom created a brilliant jab at “mom-shamers” by posting portraits of children with letter signs addressing the controversial issues that cause such division among moms.
Abbie Fox is the owner of Foxy Photography, and she’s also a mother of three kids: 8-year-old Maverick, 3-year-old Georgia, and 7-month-old Millie. With kids of varying ages, Abbie knows all too well the issues that moms tend to nit-pick over with each other.
You’ve probably seen these very issues being hotly debated between moms online; the conversation can get very tense… or outright offensive.
Maybe you’ve been judged for nursing your baby?
…or for NOT nursing your baby, & opting to bottle-feed?
Have you been criticized for “putting your kids in daycare” if you’re a working mom?
Or have you been told you “have it so easy because you get to stay home” if you’re a stay-at-home mother?
These are just the tip of the “mommy-shaming” iceberg: there’s also how much electronic use children have, whether co-sleeping with parents is acceptable or not, if babies should “cry it out” or not, etc. etc.
And Abbie Fox is so over it, people.
Abbie created a series of portraits on her Facebook page under the title, Anti Mom Shamers Unite to remind moms to support one another, regardless of differences in parenting opinion.
Abbie’s motivation was drawn from her personal experience; as she describes in her album’s summary:
Mommy Shaming. People roll their eyes and say it doesn’t happen anymore but it is alive and well, and it can be brutal.
When I was a first time mom I would cry for things people said to me, and the main culprit were other moms.
The worst feeling in the world as a new mom is to feel like you’re somehow failing your baby, or not being a “good enough” mom. The criticism of fellow moms can be a painful blow, especially when you’re feeling insecure to begin with.
Each portrait of a child features a letterboard with a statement that represents one of the many “hot-button” issues that draw the most criticism between moms.
Who would think that where your child sleeps would be so important to other people, right?
Ah, the old working mom vs. stay-at-home mom ditty. This is still a thing?? WHY is this still a thing?!
Talk about a “controversial” subject….! We’ve seen this one batted around online before, & it can get really ugly.
As mothers, we are tasked with the responsibility of raising our children. WE, not the online community. Yes, we can seek advice from other moms. We can request opinions, evaluate the perspective of other parents.
But in the end, it is up to YOU what you think is best for YOUR child.
As Abbie Fox eloquently put it in her album descrption:
If our kids are healthy, happy, and thriving, who cares if our parenting styles are different?!
If variety is the spice of life, then some moms need to learn to be… spicier. You may feel strongly about the decisions you make about your child, and that’s fine.
But it’s not fine to demand that another mom make the same exact decision for their own child simply because you do.
As Abbie points out, we’re all doing our best to raise our kids, while keeping our own sanity. And to that end:
We all have our differences in parenting and need to realize that everyone is raised differently and have different values and things that are important to us.
Different isn’t bad, it’s just different. And we should be lifting fellow moms up with encouragement & love, regardless of our differences.
At the end of the day, every mom is doing her best to care for & love her child(ren). And it’s so vital that we as moms heed Abbie’s suggestion to “spread a little more love around” in the mom community.