10 Signs You’re Officially Panicking About Coronavirus

I rarely panic. I loathe the drama. I even went on a cruise last week and didn’t even think twice about getting any viruses (corona or otherwise).

But that was then, and honestly, a lot has changed in a week. A crisis like this can lead people to act in all kinds of ways they never thought they would.

Us would-be non-panickers included. There are reasonable measures to be taken. Hand washing. Social distancing. Self-quarantine. Stocking up on essentials.

But there’s a fine line between caution and full-blown panic. And, if we’re being perfectly honest? This coronavirus is scary. And, we totally get how it might send you into spiraling down the rabbit hole.

This is no laughing matter – but when we can step back and take a deep breath, we realize that there is only so much we can do. 

 How do you know you’re tipping the balance into panic-mode? Here are 10 signs you’re officially panicking about CoVid-19. 

You ask your coworker who went on a cruise if they’re SURE that they’re sure they didn’t get quarantined on the boat.

And you keep asking. Over and over again. And you still don’t believe them (c’mon, guys, I wasn’t even on that same cruise line).

You post alarmist articles on Facebook 10 times a day or read every article that’s posted.

Eight times should be sufficient, guys. Nine, tops. Any more than that and you’re just obsessing. And if you’re one of those that is reading every. single. one. You’re not alone. 

You give side-eye to the Wal-Mart employee who coughed literally one time.

I’ve said it all. “Masks are pointless.” “Just wash your hands.” “Don’t touch your face.” “It’s not any worse than the flu.”

But I swear to you, I was standing in line at the Wal-Mart self checkout, leaning on my freshly disinfected cart handle and trying not to touch my face that was suddenly uncontrollably itchy, when I heard a slight little cough from the employee in front of me and I leered at the back of his head as if he’d just insulted my grandmother.

You wash your hands so much they bleed.

I’m so grateful my child’s preschool is enforcing good hygiene and teaching healthy habits. But not only do they wash after using the restroom and before eating, but they practically “scrub-in” the minute they walk into school for the day.

I’m OK with that in theory, but in practice, my four-year-old keeps hand cream in his cubby just to get through the day intact.

You are offended by funny memes.

I know, I know, it’s no laughing matter. Except that some of us deal with uncomfortable situations with humor. It’s a coping mechanism.

It’s not that we aren’t taking it seriously. It’s just that you can either cry or laugh, and we prefer the latter. 

You purposefully don’t buy any toilet paper (even if you’re running low) because you don’t want to be seen as a hoarder.

If you’re altering your lifestyle to seem as though you aren’t altering your lifestyle, and you’re panicked about not seeming panicked, then you’re officially panicking. 

You find yourself researching alternative forms of toilet paper.

What types of wipes are flushable? Which leaves in my area are the softest? Would I rather use washrags and wash them? How long would it take to install a bidet? 

Your phone is blowing up with family group chats dedicated solely to discussion of the virus.

C’mon, Auntie Carol, you’re just contributing to the hysteria.

You refuse to go down a certain aisle of Trader Joe’s just because you heard a woman say she’d been to Italy.

Because what if she coughed over there? Or touched the same boxes you were going to touch? I guess whole-wheat pasta will have to wait until next month.

You write articles about how everyone else is panicking.

Maybe the fact that I’m overthinking this whole thing is a sign that I’m in panic-mode. But hey, at least I’m in good company, because y’all know you were just googling how to make your own hand sanitizer.

And if you weren’t, you will now.