Cathartic “Secret” Twitter Thread Hilariously Reveals What Parents Hate Doing With Their Kids

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As a parent of three kids whose ages range from pre-k to middle school, I am here to tell you that I have 100% felt the urge to flip my kids off as they leave a room.

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Raising kids is the toughest job on earth, but what can make it feel impossible are all the times that we parents must stuff our frustrations down and smile through the pain of a whiny kid or a colossal mess or any other disaster.

So, when a “secret” thread appeared on Twitter that gave permission for parents to let loose with the kvetching, I beamed.

And then I nearly cried because the responses from other parents who are as tired and worn out as I am were the funniest thing I have read in a long while.

Middle-aged tired single mother suffers from her children, mom feels exhausted by noisy kids.
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Talk about feeling understood.

“This is a secret parent thread where we admit what we HATE doing with our kids. I HATE playing Brio trains with my son,” wrote the popular Twitter user, @clhubes.

“Mostly bc I actually like building the train tracks but he just wants to boss me around and nothing I do is right. Also he takes all the good cars.”

One mom freaked out over play dough and I could feel my soul singing in harmony with her.

Because I HATE play dough too. Twitter user @BridgetLaurette wrote,

Play dough makes me want to burn my house to the ground, and it’s my kid’s favorite. Little specks of hot pink seem to escape every time and I’m so neurotic trying to make sure none gets near my white carpet.”

Another mom took umbrage with being forced to go to the local playground.

Who among us doesn’t hate the playground at least a little bit?

For @SarahRonau the reason is both rational and hilarious. “Can’t wait to leave the minute we arrive mostly because he always wants me to go into the tunnels that make me feel like I’m getting an MRI and he wants to hang out in there,” she wrote. 

One aspect of parenting that makes me feel irrational is how much I loathe trying to do any chores with my kids.

No matter what, it always turns into a nightmare, and feeling dread about it makes me feel like a terrible mother. That is until I read another mom in this thread admit the same damn thing.

@PhDMumLIfe wrote, “I hate not being able to do normal stuff like, you know, sweep the floor or go to the bathroom without at least one toddler involved and/or a fight breaking out. Anything where my attention is not 100% on them feels like a high stakes, high stress activity and I hate it.”

While many parents I know are super social (or really great at faking it) this mom is more my speed; she hates being forced to hang out with other parties thanks to the awkward nature of birthday parties.

“Going to birthday parties. School parties. Basically, any party that I need to attend where he’s off having a blast and I am left making painfully awkward conversation with other parents whom I don’t know well and have nothing in common with other than our kids,” wrote @jesskautzhere.

The responses just seem to never stop, it’s a steady flow of one relatable experience to another and I swear, these parents have covered all the bases.

But some of them stand out for how ridiculously funny they are. 

@ZoePlerhoples had a pointed complaint about action figures that had me giggling for way longer than necessary because I could feel her pain.

She wrote, “I hate playing action figures with my kids because my son just wants to play a game where the Ninja Turtles poop on each other over and over and I just can’t get into the storyline and then, inevitably, action figure heads pop off and the tears start.”

But it was when one mom mentioned YouTube videos that I truly knew I found my people. WTF. IS. UP. WITH. YOUTUBE. VIDEOS!?

Kids, literally stop talking to me about this nonsense, good God!

Twitter user @sznk wrote, “I cannot handle CONVERSATIONS ABOUT YOUTUBE VIDEOS. I? Do not care/have time/enjoy. They? Ache to share each inane detail & laser-stare directly into my eyes to assure I’m ingesting the inanity. I? Want to jab out said eyes & set very flamey fire to them so I can flee the scene.” 

If you are feeling like you might burst if you have to blow bubbles, listen to another stupid YouTuber explain a video game, or watch as your child destroys the train tracks you spent 20 minutes building then this is the thread for you.

We found the village.

It exists, people and it is glorious. 

 

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