Bondage Body Wash for Morticians (Yep)

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bondage body wash

PONTILICIOUS: Smell this… (shoves arm into my face)

ME: Hey! Watch it!

PONTILICIOUS: Smell this! (again shoves arm into my face and up my nostrils)

ME: Okay! What? What am I smelling?

PONTILICIOUS: Doesn’t that smell good?

ME: Sure. That smells great. (could care less) What is it?

PONTILICIOUS: It’s a new body wash I bought.

ME: AXE?

PONTILICIOUS: No. It’s called Black Glove.

ME: Oh.

PONTILICIOUS: You know. Like going to a five-star restaurant or something you’d wear to the opera.

ME: (trying not to chuckle or call anyone a…) You mean white glove. That would be black tie, white glove.

PONTILICIOUS: Nooooooo. It’s called Black Glove. And it’s sophisticated.

ME: Sophisticated? Like a mortician? Or magician? They wear black gloves. Oh! People into bondage. They wear those types of gloves with their gimp suits.

PONTILICIOUS: Go Google it.

ME: Hell no. Last time I Googled anything that could be interpreted as spandex I was traumatized. Just take my word for it.

PONTILICIOUS: It’s called Black Glove.

ME: I’m sure it is… (see below)

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