PONTILICIOUS: Smell this… (shoves arm into my face)
ME: Hey! Watch it!
PONTILICIOUS: Smell this! (again shoves arm into my face and up my nostrils)
ME: Okay! What? What am I smelling?
PONTILICIOUS: Doesn’t that smell good?
ME: Sure. That smells great. (could care less) What is it?
PONTILICIOUS: It’s a new body wash I bought.
ME: AXE?
PONTILICIOUS: No. It’s called Black Glove.
ME: Oh.
PONTILICIOUS: You know. Like going to a five-star restaurant or something you’d wear to the opera.
ME: (trying not to chuckle or call anyone a…) You mean white glove. That would be black tie, white glove.
PONTILICIOUS: Nooooooo. It’s called Black Glove. And it’s sophisticated.
ME: Sophisticated? Like a mortician? Or magician? They wear black gloves. Oh! People into bondage. They wear those types of gloves with their gimp suits.
PONTILICIOUS: Go Google it.
ME: Hell no. Last time I Googled anything that could be interpreted as spandex I was traumatized. Just take my word for it.
PONTILICIOUS: It’s called Black Glove.
ME: I’m sure it is… (see below)
