Will someone please tell me, when did “maid” become a bad word? I mean seriously, people. Maid? It’s been said for a thousand years and suddenly, “Oh my effing word! I’ll cut you if you say it again! What are you thinking douche bag? You might offend someone?” Offend who? Me? I’m a maid. I’m a household servant to my family. Do I like it? No. Can they function without my ability to juggle 14,000 different things and still get them clean underoos in the morning? No. Do I want a maid? You’re goddamn right I do! I want a maid, a butler, a nanny, a chauffeur…even if only for a moment. Offended? Get over yourself.
I’m so sick and tired of watching people tiptoe around what’s politically correct and what will get your ass chewed off in 2.2 seconds of writing or saying something not considered kosher. There are definitely certain words and phrases that are not okay to use. Many people have the common sense and decency to know when something really isn’t appropriate or is downright offensive. There are, of course, assclowns out there who lack the brains or self-control to behave within acceptable parameters. They’ll reap what they sow, take my word for it. Karma is society’s black widow.
But maid? How is that offensive? What next? Will we be criticized for referring to someone as a parking lot attendant? Will we be expected to use vehicular organizational assistant? What about cashiers? Should we call them money handlers? Come on, now. I think we’ve gone way too far with this whole “I’m offended” shit.
Someone recently wrote, “Using ‘vertically challenged’ for short people and ‘follicle challenged’ for bald people is more offensive than the correct terms.” I tend to agree. Why? Because they’re NOT challenged. No one is egging them on to grow a few inches or sprout some new hair. They shouldn’t have to feel badly for what is–for who they are. There is nothing wrong with being shorter than average or bald. Both can be very commanding and sexy! Pablo Picasso! Hello?! He was short and sexy, and this steam engine never lacked in the companionship department.
Sometimes words are just…words. Nothing more. If maid is taboo, what should we call bridesmaids? French maids? Do you want to go to a Halloween party dressed as a French household assistant? Didn’t think so. And what about Downton Abbey? Should we cancel the show because the character lineup includes housemaids, lady’s maids, and kitchen maids? Yeah. That would be reprehensible, right?
We’ve just gone too far. Way past okay in my book. So here’s what we’re gonna do…I’ll say maid, you can say tomato. I’m not caving in and using another term. Pin me to a wall and use me as a dartboard if it makes you feel any better.