My 4 yr old said something really funny in the car yesterday. He called my husband a “kissey face” and said that Daddy kisses everyone in town. I said, “What? Who did you see Daddy kiss?” He replied, “I was just tricking you. He only kisses you.” After the minor cardio infarction that I suffered, my husband and I had a conversation about cheating. He said, “How do people who live in a small town have an affair? I mean, everyone knows that you’re married, I just don’t get it.”
Maybe they have an account on Ashley Madison? Have you heard of this website? I hadn’t, but today I saw that Ashley Madison was hacked and it’s 37 million members are in danger of having their identity leaked. Yes, you heard correct, 37 MILLION MEMBERS. This dating website is for married people to meet up and have affairs with other married people.
Below is the Ashley Madison website information:
~Ashley Madison is the most famous name in infidelity and married dating. As seen on Hannity, Howard Stern, TIME, BusinessWeek, Sports Illustrated, Maxim, USA Today. Ashley Madison is the most recognized and reputable married dating company.Our Married Dating Services for Married individuals Work. Ashley Madison is the most successful website for finding an affair and cheating partners. Have an Affair today on Ashley Madison. Thousands of cheating wives and cheating husbands signup everyday looking for an affair. We are the most famous website for discreet encounters between married individuals. Married Dating has never been easier. With Our affair guarantee package we guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner. Sign up for Free today.
Now that you have read this, do you have any questions? I did. Here are a list of the questions, and thoughts that came to mind after reading about this company and the current security breach.
1. WTF? Is this for real?
2. No seriously, is this a real thing?
3. 37 Million people use this? Do these people have jobs?
4. If you’re married, and have a job, where the hell do you find the time for a dating website?
5. I am really confused. 37 Million people?
6. If life is short, shouldn’t you love the one you’re with? You know, the one you married?
7. Who is going to be liable for all of the murders that occur when the 37 million members information is leaked?
8. I hope John Bobbitt isn’t a member. He didn’t do so well after the last time he got caught.
9. I bet divorce attorneys love to advertise on this site.
10. If you’re married, aren’t you supposed to be monogamous? Am I thinking of something else?
11. You probably need to be really organized to cheat. I can’t remember where I put my car keys. I would get caught in like 5 minutes.
12. Married dating is a thing? If you’re married, why are you dating?
13. I am really having a difficult time with this.
14. This is the most reputable married dating company? There are more? Oh Dear Lord!
15. This website has a guarantee? How can you guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner?
16. This is a rabbit hole. I need to stop.
I am very interested to see how this security breach plays out. I am also baffled at the fact that 37 million married people are members of an online dating service. I guess monogamy is a thing of the past. Perhaps we are on the verge of a new definition of marriage. Maybe instead of saying “I do” people should say, “I’ll try, but when I get bored, I’ll try something else.” Because life is short. Have an affair.
This is TOTALLY a thing. One of my best friends’ husband was a member, she found out and they divorced over it. I hope he’s one of the 37 million and his name gets splattered all over creation!!
Holy crap! I almost fell out of my chair when I was reading this. Who has time for this? It amazes me 🙂
Not a member here, but there are situations where I think this site would provide an outlet based on relationships that I’m aware of…
1) Wife no longer interested in sex with 2 young kids. Husband not happy with the situation but loves his kids and wants to maintain the home unit and seeks sex elsewhere to maintain home.
2) Husband always away for work, bored housewife needs someone to be intimate with but doesn’t want to leave husband for either financial/kids situations.
Not to say that it’s right, but I can see how people would be driven to join this site based on the need to maintain a family unit while trying to satisfy what’s missing in their relationships. They would also gain a bit more assurance that they’re not meeting a 19 year old on Tinder who might become overly attached and want to break up their marriage.
The right way to do it of course is to have that honest conversation to begin an open relationship but that’s easier said than done.
Thank you for your comment. I understand what you are saying. I also find the idea of an Open marriage very interesting. I am getting ready to write something about that. Email me if you would have any info. you would like to share. email@example.com
I would like to add my thoughts to this post as well as ask a question a that hopefully one or both of you will be able to shed some light on.
I am currently a 29 year old woman, with a career and many goals for my near future. I came from a male run househould despite the fact that my mother was not only a home maker (with 3 home cooked meals a day for all 5 of us and clean clothes at all times) but also managed to work ungodly hours to help financially.
This said, I watched my parents’ marriage disolve after 25 years together, only to find out that my father fell out of love about 4 years before I was ever born (thanks a lot for that bit of information dad!). He stayed with her “for the kids” according to him, but in the long run he caused way more emotional damage by making this choice.
Needless to say, this experience began what was a lifetime of uncertainty when it comes to relationships all crammed into about 10 years of my life.
I now have trust issues to keep it mild and despite this have been able to maintain a 4 year relationship with someone who I can easily see as my husband and father of my future children.
Keeping all this in mind, my question is the following:
Why is it that cheating spouses find it so difficult to simply say” I’m not happy” and through an open dialogue find a solution that works for everyone involved? If a man or woman is a good parent, no matter how hurt the spouse who is being left is, no matter how much they may try to keep the kids from the other person in the event of divorce, both parents can be involved in the children’s lives. If child support is what they are afraid of, um hello brilliant minds you will be paying a worse form of child support for the rest of your life by simply being an involved parent – kids are expensive and time consuming ALWAYS if you are really putting effort in.
I guess I just find the notion of not only making cheating ok in todays society, but actually allowing a home wrecking website to advertise and be an actual THING, well completely vile.
This is encouraging depraved and damaging habits to be formed by married people. This is allowing them to believe that what their partner doesn’t know won’t hurt them and what’s 1 little affair? Let me tell you, it is the world when the alternative was simply to be a decent person and be honest with the person you onced loved and married.
Not to mention that facts that SO many things can happen.. For example, what happens when that 1st person you cheat with gives you AIDS, herpes, or some other STD you can’t “fix”? What happens when you get to #3 and he/she becomes a stalker so your spouse ends up finding out anyway? What about when you go on vacation or to some event, some sports thing, etc, and find out the person you cheated with is there – do you leave your spouse in the middle of the night to go have a romp with this cheat buddy? Everything about it sounds sleazy to me.
Have people forgotten the truth always comes out into the open, one way or another?
I have given my boyfriend the option for an open relationship after much thought because I do understand human beings tend to get bored and feel stuck in situations out of fear of hurting the person that they love. I hope to God he takes that option before ever cheating. Because God knows, having someone fall out of love with you – not the worse thing that can happen and definitely surmountable, despite the heartache and scars it could leave behind. But to have someone lie to you for an undetermined period of time about cheating on you and their excuses are “I didn’t want to burden you financially” ” I didn’t want to leave you raising the kids on your own” ” I didn’t want to hurt you” – well, they are all BS excuses and then the act becomes unforgivable. Even if that person tries to forgive, the thought is always there and the cheater always ends up spending the rest of their life making of for that moment of insincerity and weakness. The choice to cheat is a selfish one, it is what appears to be the easiest way to have your cake and eat it too without hurting the person you are with, but this is not the truth. It is more hurtful and damaging in the long rung to all those involvedand I wish someone would take that damn website down once and for all – as well as any other sites similar to it that may be “less reputable”.
Pssssh, nonsence I tell you.
Thank you so much for sharing. Marriage is tough. Day in and day out there are challenges. It is no fairy tale and it takes a ton of work. Once you add children to the mix it gets even more complicated. I am toying with the idea of a book that deals with your questions specifically. I would love to chat with you. Is it OK to contact you via email?
Yelmy, to answer your question, I simply think being honest is tough. For someone to be ALWAYS truthful, communicating every one of their needs requires a lot of strength and bravery. Think back on when you were a kid. If you accidentally broke something or touch something that you shouldn’t have, what would have been your first answer when your mom or dad asks “did you do this?!” I’m going to guess the first thing that most kids will say is “no, it wasn’t me! I didn’t do it!” And of course try to cover up what they did…successful or not.
In the US, main stream media, the “right” thing to do is to stay monogamous. In other countries, don’t ask, don’t tell is common in marriages. You may see many more story lines about affairs and such now a days but just go back 10 years and I don’t think that was as common on TV. Think of the nuclear family, Leave it to Beaver. People stay together because that’s what you’re suppose to do. They are told by their parents, friends, media, church…you work it out, you only marry once. The people who are on AM most certainly all know they’re not doing the “right” thing. But not everyone is mature as you. They have not experienced the family fallout as you have. They don’t know the kind of hurt they might cause. Or maybe the short term thrill of an affair is worth it…like a drug. An addict will get high risking everything – people do. More commonly, the adrenaline of a new relationship; the haze; the passion; the unexpectedness (as compared to maybe someone who’s been married for 25 years, sex once every 6 months, basically in a companion marriage).
For that 25 year married partner who’s bored, or lacks that emotional/physical connection, but still wanting the security of that family, AM might have been a way for them to stay sane. Maybe he/she still enjoys the daily companionship of their partner, but just once, wants to feel how he/she felt 27 years ago when they first met. They don’t want to rock the boat. They don’t want to end the marriage. Their partner has said that cheating is a deal breaker and declared that open relationships are BS. She does still love her partner, but just not the same way as 25 years ago when they married.
Everyone has their reasons, even your father. In his mind, maintaining the family unit might have been priority #1. It doesn’t sound like it was the right choice from your post. But to him, he justified it in his mind. We all do that. Everyone is brought up thinking a certain thing is the “right” thing to do…they will find ways to justify it even if looking back it was not the best for the family. Again, think back to all the stupid things you might have done as a teenager, I know I did.
I don’t know your family, but just superficially, a working dad with a SAHM with 5 kids…I’m going to guess intimacy between them was low. I have 2 toddlers and there’s no way I would have any more kids knowing the time, commitment it takes to raise the two that I have. I have only recently consciously made more effort to be nicer, sweeter, more considerate of my husband. Try to take days off so we can spend the day together while kids are in preschool and elementary school.
When you have kids, they are your life. When you have kids, you will know. They become priority #1, husbands can take care of themselves. When I had both under 3yo, I sometimes got annoyed at my husband at why he was so needy and handsy when all I can think of is changing the next diaper, getting them to eat their next snack, etc. I love taking photos. When my kids were little, 95% of my photos were dedicated to my babies; before I had kids, 50%+ of my photos had my husband in it. As you can tell, my husband got the short end of my attention stick. I’ve realized I had actively pushed him away many times without realizing how hurtful I might have been. To reject his advances when I was too tired. Sometimes certainly justified, but I should have also paid more attention to his needs, not just the kids…easier said than done.
Apologies for the long and rambling post. It’s been a long day. Here are my relationship lessons that I’ve learned in bullet form:
– every relationship is different
– sometimes monogamy doesn’t work out the way we planed (few things do in life does)
– sometimes we need a little extra to get us going again
– sometimes we lose our way
– nothing can be successful unless both parties make an effort
– life/work/kids can get in the way
– relationships evolve
– relationships can rebuild
It sounds like your parents finally divorced and it’s been very difficult for you with trust issues in your own relationships. My suggestion to you is to forgive your father and move on (maybe this is easier said than done…a little like being completely honest with someone). Holding a grudge against his actions is not making anyone’s life better. Stealing an old saying…you can forgive but not forget. In your own relationships, if you are straight forward and honest as you say you are, I’m sure you’ve already had that conversation with your partner that cheating is a deal breaker for you. Hopefully you’ve let out enough signs and had enough long talks to be clear that you’ve attracted someone with the same beliefs as you. No marriages is perfect and life will throw things at you that you don’t want or are not ready to handle, it’s up to each person to act or react based on their own up bringing and experiences. I wish you much happiness.
Meredith, thanks for providing a forum. Looking forward to your future articles.
Thank you so much for sharing!!!! Please hang around and continue to be a support.
Then don’t get married!!! I find it amazingly sad that not only such a website exist but that it has so many members. I’ve been married for 18 years. We’ve known each other for 23. Is it always sexy and romantic? No, but by no means is that an excuse to have an affair any more than “Life is Short”.
It’s disgusting, those individuals are whores, needy and have no clue about healthy relationships.
Stop the madness. Sleep with the one you married, I know….crazy thought!
Marriage is a lot of things….This made me think and I am definitely going to write a follow up piece 🙂 Thank you for reading.
Thanks for the post Meredith and Jennifer, but will ask you for forgiveness in advance of my comment….
Open marriage my @$$, Meredith is right to say that “Marriage” has a new definition, or should. And by that, you SHOULD NOT take vows in the sight of God, and commit to 1 person. Now, I understand people change their minds and grow apart, but being in a COMMITTED relationship should mean something. If you can’t keep your commitment in the sight of God, and to the one you “love”, and even to yourself for that matter, than DON”T GET MARRIED! It’s a mockery of the whole institution, but I guess everything is mocked now a days.
You can’t believe anything people say now a days. & don’t teach your daughters to be honest and don’t teach your son’s to be faithful, cause you’re not by example at least. Tell them the truth; It’s better to keep their options open and to stay single. Generations from now there will be no more “family units”.
& BTW, Ashley Madison still has 45 year old love sick women and men who may fall for anything and get attached. Remember people are lying to you and even to themselves. There are incidents in real life that mirror “Fatal Attraction” or “Obsessed”. Just movies, but truth to someone who’s been cheated on or with. Why would you trust the “guarantee” of a web site that encourages lying? Geesh… People don’t even think anymore. If you unhappy with your wife, why would you bring in another miserable person to the relationship and think you will find happiness? Ashley Madison is seriously inappropriate.
Again, please forgive my tone, but I am appalled.
The entire thing amazes me. I have seen the shift in marriage and values towards the institution change drastically over the past 20 years. I am a humor blogger so I did take a specific tone with this piece. I hope you will stay and read a few more of my pieces.
When I read about Ashley Madison and the breach, I had practically the exact same reaction. Your list is not only spot-on, but HIL-AR-IOUS!
Other thoughts that crossed my mind…
* As a VC funder, how do you justify this?? (Hi honey, today we gave money to a guy who wants to help married people cheat. Should be a winner!)
* How do you justify going public – taking cheating public? Really?
* Why would you (a cheater) put all your personal (I mean, *really* information on website when EVERYTHING is being hacked these days?) You deserve what you get.
* Is this where we’ve devolved to? Websites for cheating?
Like you…it’s a rabbit hole…thanks for the smile.
Thank you for reading and sharing with me. It is a crazy situation. I plan on writing a follow up piece. Make sure to keep reading 🙂
My thoughts exactly!
First off I’m a Ashley Madison client or was. Secondly I’m from a small town . You nailed it a lot .I would love to venture into another’s arms but like you I would be caught trying to get out the front door. I never delete my history or my phone history my wife know everything I do. And I’m 30 miles from society . So I think about it that is as far as it goes. I love attention from females it builds my ego . But to lie to a person repeatedly year that doesn’t work for me. There is another site I saw it on the stock market in the sub penny area so I looked into it . I checked you out or something like that I live in a town of about 2500 people I get pic of wives that are not dressed for country people . But they are ready to chat with you they email you and to read the emails it cost like 20.00 a month of course I know there I’d nobody around me that looks like that if you pay the money you stop getting emails so Ashley Madison and the others are b.s. I also hate hugs and conversation this being on another of your post and crying people also. So combining your post I’m your twin flame don’t really know what that is but I’m a member on fb
So if you decide to have an affair I’m it.. we do not have to hug or snuggle no crying I’ll carry my condom in my wallet not a fanny pack and all my animals stay outside and rest for work. As when this could take place
I wake at 530am I work this time of year until about 7 pm I go to sleep by ten unless rangers are playing I do take an hour lunch between 12 an 1 I do stay at home and work from there kid are always here so I guess..well when a vacation day comes up I let you know
I am currently married and plan to stay that way. I appreciate the offer, but my vacation days are saved for my husband. I am happy that you do not carry a fanny pack. Best of luck finding your mate.
Jennifer hit the nail on the head for both genders; to not have sex within a marriage is as bad as to have sex outside the marriage – forsaking all others does NOT mean forsaking sex.
I agree with that statement. I found this article very interesting. I am toying with the idea of a book about monogamy. I am positive that a sex-less marriage is a top three reason that people cheat. Keep reading.
Thank you for this. Your post has restored a bit of my faith in humanity.
Any time 🙂 Please keep reading.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you stated that the definition of marriage has changed. Monogamy is a hard sell in today’s “me first” and “click here” society. This is why sites like the one you mention exist. For me it is a pretty simple concept. If you want to have multiple partners, don’t get married. Unfortunately, most couples today want their cake and to be able to eat it too. They want the comforts of having a spouse, but the freedom to fool around.
The definition has changed. I find this topic very interesting and I will write about this again. Please keep reading 🙂
When someone you truly love cheats on you, it’s another story. When it hits home, all the “funny stuff” is no longer funny. People are looking for love but erroneously think they’ll find it through lust – exactly what an affair is based on. In an open marriage, I would love to see what happens, soon into the relationship, when jealousy rears its ugly head. I would also like to see how the Family Leave Act plays into this. The employee would hardly ever have to work if all the wives kept having children. This means that all his/her fellow workers would have to pick up the slack – and for how long?
What’s next? Open sharing of children as well? Why not? Why just share husbands/wives? So often, we never hear about what certain lifestyles are REALLY all about. Actually, a few attempted to push open marriage on American society decades ago. I think there’s a reason why it hasn’t caught on. You can’t mess with marriage for too long without horrific consequences, no matter what ANYONE says.
I find all of this very interesting. I will definitely write a follow up piece. I try to find the humor in all things. I understand that there are people involved here, I was shocked and too this angle to discuss the topic. Keep reading.
Got to say, saw the article about the security breach of this site in the newspaper today (yes, am probably one of the few who still actually reads the morning newspaper) and first thought was “Serves the right!”. A website for cheaters? Really? And 37 Million of them? OK, I’ve been with my wife for 10 years, spent too much money on a wedding to stand up in front of God, our community, friends and family to promise forever, faithfullness, forsaking all others, sickness n health, all of that stuff in a ceremony that wasn’t even legal yet. THe commitment meant something we thought was important. Cheating rips that concept out by the roots. And a group that is set up to promote that? I know how other people live their lives is none of my business, but JEEEZ, seriously???
It is shocking. I am happy you found me. Please keep reading.
You are hilarious. Loved this read. You are right – 137 MILLION??
Also agree with Jennifer, I can see there would be a market for this as I know people who stayed with their spouse while having an affair and of course they prefer to cheat with other cheaters. Less likely to become possessive and want to cause issues.
37 MILLION??! 59 million married people in America. So 62% are on this website?! WHAT THE WHAT??
As a mama of 2, who works full-time out of the home, and refers to her husband as her 3rd child sometimes (I mean really, can you not find your own shirt, or put your dishes in the dishwasher?! But, I love him so.), WHERE ARE THEY FINDING THE TIME?! And where can I get some of this extra time they seem to have found. Does Ashley Madison’s website list where this fountain of time is that they’ve obviously all found?
More importantly, WHY?! WHY would you put your personal information on a “married dating” website?! How clueless do you have to be? WHY would you even want to be on said website? All the sneaking around and hiding communications has to be exhausting, if not all the stress of not getting caught HAS to have their BP up? And if it wasn’t, then I’m CERTAIN it is now. But, I digress.
Like you, I am also interested in how this security breach plays out. Since life is short, I’m off to lock myself in my room while my kids argue over the Xbox controller. 🙂
Welcome!! I am happy you found my blog. I find this topic very interesting. Keep reading and sharing your thoughts, I really appreciate it!
I’ve been wondering if some have multiple profiles. Why? So they can cheat on the person they’re cheating with.
The last sentence was intended to be humorous, but who knows?
Could be….We may never know:)
You are in a minority. Most (and I mean ‘most’) married people have had, are having, or will have an affair.
Here is an excellent TED talk to educate you further on the subject of infidelity:
Married dating is definitely ‘a thing’.
I think you are correct. I find this so interesting. I am going to watch this! I love Ted talks. I can’t wait. Thanks for writing.
My husband told me about this….and I just sat and looked at him and asked..are you on the list? He said a big “NO”! He just thought the author of the article on Yahoo was hilarious..that would be you..and I should check out your blog. He’s right! I couldn’t believe it either but I think I actually saw a TV commercial advertising this. I kept yelling…”What!!??” over and over again until I realized I was alone. The next time I saw it I did the same thing and still was alone but at least I knew I had actually seen it before and I wasn’t crazy. Your blog is great and I can relate in many aspects of marriage, (We’ve been married 41yrs. this Aug.) and kiddos, (we have 4 and 9 Grandkiddos). Don’t worry they do grow up. Some have even moved away.
Thank you! I am sure your hubby isn’t on the list. Please keep reading. I love that you wrote to me.
Thank you so much for addrssing this. It is good to see others that side with right. And to all of those on the life’s short have an affair website…remember whatever is done in the dark will come to the light (in this case…remember that whatever you put on the internet never, I mean never goes away). CHEATERS beware lol.
I LOVE MY MAN MY MARRIAGE AND MY FAMILY
It is an interesting issue. I enjoyed writing the piece and I will write a follow up post. Please keep reading 🙂
How do you access the information the hackers got. Now I am curious. My husband of 40 years was having an affair and we are now divorcing. His travel agent was kind enough to pair him with a “guy” roommate named “Kristin” ….to save money. I was busy placing my mother in Alzeheimer’s care at the time he was planning his cruise with Kristin. Wasn’t that kind of the travel agent to help us save money that way? Now I wonder if Ashley Madison was involved or just Pauls travels????
The hackers requested that the site be taken down to avoid leaking the information. The site was taken down yesterday, but I am positive it will go back up. I will let you know if I find any information. I will write a follow up piece to this story. Best of luck to you 🙂
This is not anything “new”. I had a friend in elem school back in the 70s. He got married probably late 70s and he called me about 10 years later and told me that he had just come out of years of therapy as he had arrived home from work early and found his wife in bed with someone “all tied up” and “doing things she never asked me to do to her” having a grand time. (I guess ala 50 SOG). Anyway, I was surprised as she was the “nice quiet family girl” and he was a hard working nice guy. I thought it was an exception but I was naive. As I got older and entered management at corporate America I saw that many “nice women” even married, would have office flings with the rising stars, athletic muscular guys or senior managers. Then you see them at the annual Christmas party with their hubbies and its all so fake. You know that “fill in” is banging some rising star but she is the dutiful wife – yeh right!. I think none of this is new I believe women have been playing around for a very long time (and men also of course). It is unfortunate but it is true.
It sure is. I think what shocked me was that there was a specific site that catered to this type of behavior. I know that men and women has been cheating since the beginning, but I was intrigued by the story. I am a humor blogger so I took a very specific approach to this topic. Keep reading.
You are shocked there is a site for this?
Having such a site is wayyyy better than Craigslist for example where you don’t even need to sign up to see very explicit pictures.
It is also better than having married people hiding out on Match.com pretending to be single.
People need to stop being so sanctimonious.
I am not here to judge or tell anyone how to like their lives. I think that the owner of this site was making millions off of the potential demise of many marriages. I am a humor blogger and I found this humorous.
Wow, Just wow and shaking my head. I didn’t hear about this site until I heard it on the news.
My husband and I had this conversation last year about people cheating, and I said how do they find the time. He said if one wants to cheat they always find the time. I’m seriously appalled by this.
It takes two to make a marriage work and if the marriage is a sexless marriage and the other person can’t live with that then a divorce should be considered.
Also while I’m on the subject :), when you’re dating and the intimacy is out of this world, and then you get married and decide ok I no longer have to “perform”, why would you misrepresent yourself like that?
I agree that the cornerstone of a marriage is communication. If you want to see other people and your spouse is OK with it, go for it. I don’t want to judge anyone, but I do this there is a problem with secrets and lies. I also have no frame of reference for being cheated on, or being the cheater. Keep reading 🙂
This guy actually is OK – his wife cheats with his approval!
Meredith, correct me if I’m wrong (or any of the other women here can) but it strikes me that women need or desire a hubby who will be very dominant in bed (ie pull/grab hair or smack a rear) to keep them faithful or at a minimum to have them not think about others. Not all but probably most. If this guy in the story would have been more dominant I doubt she would want to sleep with others.
I did read this story and I have no idea why people choose an open marriage. I do find it very interesting and I plan on taking a closer look, but if each partner is consenting I guess to each his own??? It wouldn’t fly at my house!
I don’t know why I’m doing this, I suppose I’m just amused by everyone’s naivete and maybe a tad bit defensive. I fell in love using AM, didn’t plan on it, it just developed over time.
It’s great everyone appears to have such wonderful marriages and so it seems you’re not able to identify with people who feel NO sense of INTAMACY in their current relationship. That word has many meanings!
My real purpose for writing is to maybe help just one person/couple… if you have time to read this blog or to write in it, you have time for an affair.
Many people in your life appear to be happy in public or on the surface, but if you really dig AND truly listen they may be saying something completely different… and worse they may not be saying anything at all.
Not everyone who has ever had an affair are bad people. Some find their way back to their spouse or loved ones, some end up with their lovers and some just go off on their own for a while.
But one thing for sure, they’re real people and they’re all around you… and quite possibly lying next to you in bed tonight.
I have learned a lot since Tuesday. I am getting ready to write a follow up piece. Thank you for taking the time to comment. This is an open forum and I am happy people have shared. Keep reading.
I understand why people are affronted by Ashley Madison. I don’t think the site should be banned. If we start banning sites because we don’t like them, where do we stop? There’s a reason the first amendment exists. I’m not saying I agree with cheating. I find it a despicable thing to willfully hurt someone you profess to love. Even if you don’t love the someone anymore, you owe it to them to divorce them (or at least officially separate) and THEN go find someone else. Anything else is just being
Those of you taken aback by the idea of open marriage need to understand a few things; (1) it has nothing to do with cheating, as both partners are in the know and agree. (2) monogamy is actually a rather uncommon thing in human society. According to the 1980 Ethnographic Atlas which listed 1231 societies, only 15% of them were monogamy based. (3) your revulsion is based on what you’ve been taught and have learned growing up.
That’s fine. Nobody says you have to like it. But, it is wrong to judge others for it. For every person there’s a different outlook on life, a different set of mores. Of late, some people are objecting to people of the Muslim faith coming to America and trying to put in place their social mores. Well, trying to force monogamy onto others by way of harsh criticism, etc. is no different. “Right” is a matter of perspective.
The website caters to extra martial affairs. I understand that monogamy is not for everyone. As long as both people are in the know I say go for it. That is your marriage and your business. I am not a fan of one person being kept in the dark. I addressed a few of these issues in my response to my first post. You can find it here on my site.
I loved your post…I actually just finished reading everything you’ve written so far (in between changing diapers and giving formula). Thank you for keeping me amused with your post, keep it up, you have a new fan in here(Dominican Republic)
I am so happy you found me! I am here to make you laugh and tell you that you are not alone!!! Kids make us crazy, or at least that;s what I tell myself 🙂 Keep reading and sharing. I will do my best to keep you entertained 🙂
So, the follow up on this story is that the hackers of the website just released all of the members personal info online to the public. Guess in the future keep,it in your pants!
I a laughing so hard now … you owe me whole BOX of POISE pads!!! I pee myself all the time when I read your stuff. Yeah so this site is f*** nuts …You said it Meredith … WHO has the time to cheat?? That’s so much WORK! I think it is pretty wrong that there are sites where you can do this … But people will find a way to rationalize … I have no response to this … so very sad what we have come to.
I am sure people will always find a way. I am way too unorganized to cheat. Plus it seem exhausting!