Man’s Mock Dating Profile Hilariously Highlights What Love In The Time Of Quarantine Looks Like

The coronavirus threat has forced the public to hunker down & practice social distancing from one another. Restaurants and bars in several states have been instructed to close early, or completely until further notice.

While these measures are definitely helpful in preventing the rapid spread of the virus, you gotta admit that it’s not ideal if you’re single and looking to mingle.

It’s pretty obvious that this isn’t the best time to be hitting the dating scene… since there’s no “scene” to be had anywhere in public these days now that it’s “Corona Time” (and not the fun, “with lime” kind of Corona).

You might think that online dating apps would be taking a hit from the coronavirus crisis, but you’d be wrong.

Forget swiping left on Tinder because you’re not jazzed by a dude’s appearance or profile details. That’s so last month!

There’s a whole new way to attract the attention of the opposite sex during these trying times… and that’s by bringing the goods.

(No, really. The actual “in-demand” GOODS.)

One man’s Facebook post has gone viral after he posted a photo shoot of several hilarious pictures depicting the “ideal” coronavirus dating profile.

Nate Hoffeditz may have been short on dates prior to the coronavirus craze, but now he’s evolved into the perfect Prince Charming… or rather, Prince CHARMIN.

The tagline for his “dating profile” is quite fitting:

“Let me be your prince Charmin©?”

Let’s face it- all of the social distancing and quarantining makes for slim pickings in the dating arena. So you’ve got to have some real game in these trying times.

And Nate’s got GAME.

(He’s also got toilet paper, ladies. Considering the scarce supply of paper products these days, that automatically bumps him above about 80% of his online dating competitors. Just saying.)

But Nate’s got a lot to offer a woman- literally. He’s fully loaded, ladies- just look at that well-stocked pantry!!

Nate’s photo caption for his pantry pose:

“Just looking for a love that’s non-perishable…”

You had me at canned corn, Nate. You had me at canned corn.

Just imagine the candlelit dinners of elbow macaroni and Quaker Oats to be had with Nate the Great. He’ll probably wash the dishes after dinner too, ladies.

In fact, you KNOW he will, because he’s prepared for that, too:

A man who not only owns an array of cleaning products, but also washes his hands for the prescribed 30 second minimum? Why is Nate still single??

And clearly Nate has a great sense of humor, too- he loves to laugh. This picture’s caption sums it up:

The only thing infectious in this home… is laughter.

If laughter is contagious, then the chuckling over these pics is likely spreading faster than the coronavirus among people who refuse to socially distance themselves (contagious corona joke- too soon??).

Obviously Nate takes the coronavirus precautions seriously- note the face mask he’s sporting in this pic:

But this prime piece of dating real estate is willing to drop the mask for that one special woman, however.

“The only thing I’m not afraid of catching, is feelings.”

Nate’s a sensitive guy- he’s in touch with his feelings. But emotion is the only thing he’s in touch with, because he’s gloved up, people!

No glove… no love, as the old saying goes. Usually, anyway. But he’s clearly a generous -and sanitary- lover, as his photo caption indicates:

Baby you should let me (g)LOVE you.

(And note the paper towels in the background. Nate knows exactly what he’s doing. And it’s working.)

While Nate’s “dating profile” is intended to be tongue-in-cheek, his inbox is surely blowing up with responses from women who have been charmed by his hilarity… and his stock of toilet paper.

The post has already garnered over 62K likes and an astounding 201K shares since being published on March 14.

While many of those likes are from those who really “like” Nate, most of the commenters thanked Nate for providing such a refreshing dose of humor.

The reality is, the coronavirus and it’s need for quarantining are having a profound effect on everyone. Our typical way of life has been put on hiatus. Even “normal” practices like public socializing and dating have come to a screeching halt. 

While it’s a sobering reality, Nate’s post is a welcome reminder that no matter what the circumstances, we all need to continue to LIVE, LAUGH, and LOVE. His post certainly cover that gamut!