Today is one of those days. If I’m being honest, every day is one of those days. I feel like I’m running on a hamster wheel and I’m barely keeping up.
I could fly off at any moment and the whole damn thing could come crashing down upon me.
These years of raising littles, establishing and maintaining careers, paying mortgages, keeping house, nurturing friendships, and trying not to become another divorce statistic, can be downright exhausting. And sometimes? It can all feel like it’s too much.
Which is exactly what one mother of 3 expresses in a Facebook post which has gone viral with over 30,000 likes and 41,000 shares to date.
Christy Quinn Marshall puts into words just how overwhelming and maddening all the responsibilities can be in her now viral facebook post.
She begins her post by saying:
I’m angry. I feel like things never stop piling up. The laundry. The housework. The forms, homework and fundraisers. The bellies that need fed. My ever growing team needs (and deserves!) a solid and powerful leader.
And it doesn’t let up. EVER. There are expectations, real and imagined, that we strive to meet. Responsibilities that we can’t ignore. Dogs to walk, emails to send, mini-vans to clean.
There are our children’s needs that have to be met and parenting rules that must be obeyed.
Rules surrounding screen time, healthy eating, and discipline. “Don’t give them red dye or too much screen time. Don’t feed them fast food. Don’t scream at them because that will become their inner voice.” And to top it all off? Because, clearly, this isn’t enough to handle, we should never be forgetful or late.
But that’s not all. Because then there are our adult people that expect and need things from us.
Our friends and our partners. Relationships that require time and effort, or they will surely fall by the wayside. Just more collateral damage in a life that is drowning us under the weight of ALL.THE.THINGS.
And where does this leave us? Where do we fit on the never-ending to-do list? Are we even on the list? Because self-care, ya’ll. Don’t even get me started.
And if you happen to be in the early years of parenting? Hoo-boy. The pressure to be the perfect crunchy, attachment, breast-is-best mom is fierce. Christy writes:
Then the early years. Don’t get an epidural. Cloth diapers + homemade baby food + don’t bottle feed because ‘breast is best’ + don’t ever let them cry it out or they will feel emotionally abandoned as adults.
And it is all just a bit, okay A LOT to take. And Christy has had enough. Enough with the pressure, enough with the expectations, enough with keeping up with the Joneses. She is DONE. CRISPY FRIED BACON DONE:
Yes, all of this angers me today.
Because everyone I talk to is barely making it and so incredibly stressed out.
Literally. every.single.person. And they feel like they are alone.
Alone. Is. A. Lie.
The struggles we endure, the burdens we carry, the challenges we face, are so often shrouded in secrecy. We think we need to suffer in silence.
That we need to put on our happy faces and big-girl pants, and just DEAL. Because this IS LIFE. And life is hard. Sometimes it’s REALLY FREAKING HARD. But sssshhhh….don’t admit it out loud. Someone might hear you.
And it is at this point in her post that Christy really pulls back the curtain and gets real. She is HUMAN and isn’t afraid to admit it:
I suck at laundry and you will not get much from us on fundraisers because I just. don’t. have. time (and I forget!). All three of my kids cried-it-out because my sleep was essential for them to have a stable + happy mama.
She goes on to reveal that sometimes her kids forget things. And she brings it to them instead of teaching them a lesson on responsibility. I know, it’s a little something called GRACE (and it actually won’t ruin our kids).
And her marriage? It is perfectly imperfect.
And Marriage. Ha! That’s been a constant ebb and flow of good, bad, greater than ever, worse-as it gets and steady willingness to choose each other over all the noise. We always course correct + come out better.
She ends her post with words of encouragement to all the moms out there spinning their wheels, burning themselves out as they attempt to reach levels of perfection THAT DON’T EXIST.
And pull into McDonalds and take the night off from cooking.
Get yourself some fries?!
The response to her post has been overwhelmingly positive, proving that Christy is not alone in her anger and frustration.
And guess what? It’s normal. It’s okay to admit that sometimes life it overwhelming, and exhausting, and feels too much to bear. It’s normal to beat your fists and cry in frustration. It doesn’t mean that you don’t also find joy in the chaos and meaning in the mess.
So go on. Break the damn rules. And don’t forget to get some fries with that.
I’m angry. I feel like things never stop piling up. The laundry. The housework. The forms, homework and fundraisers. The…