Texting without emojis is like the sky without the sun (*insert sun emoji HERE*). Can you even remember a time when emojis weren’t an essential part of our daily texting convos?
And we all have our favorite emojis, too. Our phones make it easy for us; they even keep our “frequently used” emojis off in their own section for convenience’s sake. Personally, I couldn’t survive a single day without my go-to “laughing with tears” emoji. (Or the “money flying away” emoji, because KIDS.)
But some of you dirty birds might need to bust out a few less eggplant and peach emojis, because using them in the wrong way just might get you busted online.
In September, social media apps Facebook and Instagram instituted a ban on the use of the eggplant and peach emojis when used in a “sexual” manner.
(Is texting with them in a non-sexual manner a thing? How is that a thing?)
Yup, Facebook is determined to censor your sexy-texty ways, people.
In September, the Facebook Community Standards were updated to warn that content could now be flagged or removed if the emojis were used together in a sexual manner.
Or as Instagram representatives explained to the New York Post:
[Content] will only be removed from Facebook and Instagram if it contains a sexual emoji alongside an implicit or indirect ask for nude imagery, sex or sexual partners, or sex chat conversations.
So you can use the peach and the eggplant… as long as you’re not using them sexually.
Your peach better be a peach, not a booty, and your eggplant better represent your mama’s eggplant Parm rather than, well, PEEN.
If the eggplant & peach emojis are an essential part of your personal text convos, have no fear- they’re not leaving your phones (though some of you just checked in panic!)
The only time you’re at risk for being publicly scolded for being a horn-dog is if you use them on Instagram or Facebook to indicate you’re thinking about sex, which could qualify as “Sexual Solicitation”.
Not cool, Facebook. NOT COOL.
The intention of the ban, as per Facebook’s explanation, is to “draw the line” at the kind of emoji use that:
facilitates, encourages or coordinates sexual encounters between adults.
Umm, hi, Facebook, have you met the Internet?? People are sliding into each other’s DMs as frequently as their eggplants are sliding into… well, you get the point.
Under the new standards, individuals can report posts for violating community standards, or Facebook/Instagram can remove them.
You may love your eggplant, but you can’t just put it anywhere you want anymore, at least when it comes to Facebook or Instagram, anyway.
And to no one’s surprise, the Internet is pretty pissed at this nonsensical attempt to tell us where we can and can’t share our peaches.
C’mon- is this for real, Facebook? Whose job assignment is it to police peach emojis, anyway? A quick search of the peaches hashtag on Instagram gives you thousands of ripe rear ends to “investigate”.
Confession: I was too afraid to try the same search regarding the eggplant. You’re on your own for that one, peeps. Some things can’t be unseen.
But the people have spoken, & they refuse to take this lying down… (I mean, come on, there are so many more positions to choose from, am I right??)
This is America- we’ve got rights, dammit!
We’ll find a way, Facebook. Oh, we’ll find a way.
See? WE JUST DID. (Personally, I think a banana is more anatomically accurate anyway, no?)
Os the mushroom, for that matter? I mean, that’s a lot of… head… (*insert smirking emoji here- unless Facebook’s banning that, too.)
I’m not sure what’s going on with the loaf of bread, but I don’t even want to know. You do you. And your loaves.
They can take our eggplants, but they can never take away our ability to… poke.
TRUTH. (And the cucumber?! Why is no one banning the cucumber??)
Look, Facebook – Maybe we need to censor the real world, too, because that’s one HUGE… carrot.
While Facebook’s intention might be to stem the flow of sexually explicit posts for their audience, the people have spoken…. and aren’t having it.
America wants it peaches and eggplants untouched- by Facebook, anyway.
Maybe we should get rid of the snowflake emoji while we’re at it, because things seem to be getting a little too sensitive over there at Facebook.