The Five Sanctimonious People You’ll Meet As A Parent


When you become a parent, you enter an amazing world that is nothing but loving, supportive, and judgment-free. Just kidding. You’ve actually entered a whole new world of sanctimonious people. 


While I certainly hope you have at least a small group that fits the aforementioned description, chances are you will encounter several sanctimonious people who believe they know best, and will be sure to tell you any chance they get.

The No Kids Savants

These people have no kids, have never worked with kids, nor have they ever spent any significant time with kids. They can usually be found hitting the angry button on any post related to children, and saying things like, “This is why I have a dog.”

I would say they might be drawing from their own experiences as children, but I am pretty sure these sanctimonious people were spawned from some Internet cesspool just to troll well-meaning parents.

The New Mom Mavens

In case you didn’t know, once you hold a newborn, you instantly receive all the knowledge you will ever need to raise a child. Just kidding. You don’t know jack shit.

But, apparently some new parents think they are instant experts and will be sure to tell you everything you are doing wrong.The New Mom Maven isn’t so bad, though, because you know she will eventually eat her words along with all the uneaten food her supposed wunderkin now refuses to touch.

sanctimonious people

The Seasoned Pros

Ok, I get your last name is Duggar, and you birthed a lot of babies. These folks believe their children are the standard for all. And if yours are doing something wrong, it is clearly your fault.

I don’t discount the value of advice from parents who have been there, but, everyone’s experience is different and there is a fine line between wisdom and judgment.

The “Back In My Day” Old Timers

These people can be found lurking around supermarkets, parks, and other places parents frequent. They are quick to make a snide comment about a kid having a tantrum, or how “back in their day” children were “seen not heard,” and how a good spanking would do ‘em good.

Back in My Day Old Timers see no hope for the next generation, so don’t even bother trying to appease them. And, just keep in mind — these sanctimonious people might be your parents or in-laws.

The Researchers

If some obscure magazine published a study on the negative effects of red balloons on German children, the Researchers will have read it, read every associated piece, and shared it in no less than 20 parenting groups.

If your child has any condition, these parents will be sure to tell you what you did wrong. And maybe even try to sell you some miracle product. Their children mostly consume air and reverse osmosis water.

Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to avoid sanctimonious people, but you can at least laugh at their ridiculousness.


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