This. Is. 32.
For a LONG time, I had envisioned my life in my thirties. It seemed, (in my head) , it would consist of semi-perfect family photo sessions , a decent savings account , and a lot of sweet little babies running around in *mostly* matching outfits.
Turns out, my life is a LOT more like the wall behind me in this photo.
And before you ask, or gasp…… I’ll go ahead and answer the questions in your head.
Yes , they got in trouble.
Yes, they were unsupervised.
I had asked them both to go play in their playroom while I fixed them dinner.
Did they know better? Yes.
Was this a lesson learned? Yes.
Did I feel like a pretty decent mom while this was happening? Absolutely…. I was in the process of fixing their dinner plates that consisted of a meat, veggie, AND a fruit. Bam.
So for the very few minutes of that day that I felt like a satisfactory mom, they were quickly and quietly destroying the playroom wall.
I finished fixing that perfectly portioned meal and with a confident and accomplished smile I walk into the playroom…..Have a mild heart attack……and then ensue crazy mom status.
The rest is a chaotic blur.
When the nerves calmed down…. the inner HGTV in me did think “at least the cheapest thing to fix in a house is paint.”
It wasn’t flooded or on fire at this point, so I did count that as a win.
A few days later at chick-fil-a my son decides to get out of his seat, stand in the middle of the restaraunt, pull his pants down, get back in his seat, and continue eating his chicken.
Me, not knowing whether to go sit at another table and act like he wasn’t mine, or actually figure out what in the world just happened, decided to ask my child, “WHY?!”.
His response?…..”I wasn’t comfortable mommy.”
Apparently …. eating his chicken nuggets while wearing pants was just too much.
My husband actually told me “maybe we aren’t so good at this parenting thing.” And to be honest, I couldn’t argue that we were.
The very few lessons we thought they were learning were being shattered in front of our eyes by a new unplanned art wall and eating chicken in only underwear….. in a restaraunt.
Slowly…. my goals that were my thirties are changing.
The picture perfect family just isn’t going to be our jam.
Our house will be lived in, and apparently loved on. Our kids may or may not be dressed. But they will be loved. They will be hugged. They will be taught to be kind no matter what (and we will pray they are.) And they will hopefully… always have joy.
Being a mommy is HARD. And some days we get it right. And some days we get it wrong. And that’s okay.
On the days you need to let out frustration…. or cry…. or laugh…. come on over …. I’ve got a wall we can draw on.