Now that quarantine has dragged on for 78 months and 98 days, we’ve all probably grown accustomed to ordering everything online to be shipped directly to our doors.
If you’re like me and you’re ordering sweatpants and microwave popcorn at 2:00 am (who can sleep these days anyway?) then you might have noticed that Amazon reviews are a super handy tool.
Not only do these reviews help me to figure which products are total garbage and not worth my money (looking at you, weird eyebrow laser kit) but sometimes I find great reviews on everyday things I really need – or things I really want to try but have been sitting on the fence about before hitting that 1-Click Buy option.
And that’s when I occasionally stumble upon a glorious review that is so ranty or funny that I just have to share it with friends.
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Ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you about the Sol Coastal’s The Beach Behemoth Giant Inflatable 12-Foot Pole-to-Pole Beach Ball. It’s apparently quite a ball. But don’t take my word for it, listen to the experience of this reviewer who goes by the name, Reid Hamlin.
First of all, he gave this impressive ball two stars. I’m a little shocked that it didn’t get one star after what Mr. Hamlin had to say. He titled his review,
“A fun way to ruin 100 bucks and ruin a weekend.”
“We took this ball to the beach and after close to two hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun-filled minutes,” the review begins.
“That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots.”
Having chased kids, beach balls, random granola bar wrappers down a beach when the wind picks up, I totally understand the moment of dread that Mr. Hamlin must have been feeling at this moment.
“It destroyed everything in its path,” he continues.
“Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles.”
If this isn’t funny enough, it gets better.
“Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees,” he’s got a good point, though.
Those legal fees must be a bitch.
“Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability.”
The hilarious review was shared on a Facebook page, called DigZoo and it has over 100,000 shares in just a few days.
And thus ends the legendary story of the Behemoth Beachball that now taunts coastal beach town, tourists.
But, although his review is especially hilarious, the other reviews prove that this ball is a thing that legends (and horror stories) are made of.
Josef says it’s the best worst idea ever as he unleashed this ball into a room with 40 children.
And, Zia. Zia has obviously seen some things because of this ball.
And, Aurora is giving us all fair warning that this thing is going to fly through the air and “destroy a lot of potato salad.” So keep that in mind for your backyard bbq.
With almost 100 reviews, I’m sure you’ll find some more stories from people who aren’t afraid of Mr. Hamlin’s review and have lived to tell the tale of this oversized beach ball. So, check out all the reviews for some much needed quarantine entertainment.
At least we know that it doesn’t pop very easily. I still have it in my Saved for Later cart.