This post is sponsored by Right To Desire. The author was compensated through payment and product. However, all opinions are the sole opinions of the author.
You’ve probably seen the memes- man wants sex, woman is too tired, man hounds woman, woman fakes a headache, and so on because women don’t want sex.
You can see a similar pattern in sitcoms as well- men just love sex, and women don’t want sex
Although these are intended to be lighthearted jokes that poke fun at married life, there’s something problematic about perpetuating these stereotypes.
If you were to take the current climate of meme culture as an accurate assessment of marital relations, things would look pretty dire. You can combat this distress. Take the Sexual Desire Quiz at RightToDesire.com to start your journey.
Although the jokes are different they all seem to follow a similar theme.
Women don’t want sex, and will go to great lengths to avoid it, despite whether their partner is willing
If you are a woman who is struggling with a reduced sex drive, seeing this message might make you think it is normal to feel this way, and that you just need to get used to leading a sexless life as a result of being tired, or getting older.
There’s a common misconception that we seem to hold, that men are always ready, willing, and able for sex, needing not much of a nudge to get the ball rolling.
Women, on the other hand, are usually thought to be more “difficult” when it comes to sexual desire, a misconception that really isn’t warranted. This all makes it so that this narrative of the “disinterested woman” seems to fit with what we think we know about female sexual desire- that they really don’t need it or that women don’t want sex as much.
Now, this isn’t a new phenomenon.
Sexuality in women has been largely misunderstood and suppressed for ages, all of this laying the groundwork for the sorts of jokes we see today
It’s true that in many cases women carry the load of running the home, taking care of kids, working and trying to stay sane while doing it all. Given these circumstances, it’s completely understandable that a person would be tired or not feeling very sexy, however, this doesn’t indicate that women simply don’t need or want sex.
The problem with these jokes is that they normalize this inaccurate idea that women don’t want sex
Although it’s totally normal to not be in the mood or for women to not want sex for a variety of reasons, if it is a consistent issue that is causing problems in your life and in your marriage, then there’s a chance you might be suffering from a condition called Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD).
According to Right to Desire, HSDD is a condition that can cause a lowered sex drive, which in turn can cause problems for those who experience it. Many of the women who experience it are in long term relationships, and may have had a normal sex drive in the past.
In many cases, the sex drive has decreased and may have been that way for a long time. This can cause significant distress in the lives of these women, contrary to the idea that women don’t want or need sex.
The social media jokes around women and sex can prevent women from realizing that a problem exists
According to Right to Desire, 1 in 10 women are distressed by a low sex drive. This means that this is a fairly common occurrence that is causing problems in many peoples lives. For more information on Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), and to take a quiz about where your desire level falls, check out the Right to Desire website here.
Although this is a fairly common issue, it is treatable, and people don’t need to be needlessly suffering.
So if you are having issues with a low sex drive and its causing you distress know this- it is a treatable condition, and there doesn’t need to be a taboo around the subject.
Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder is something that can be addressed, and no matter what the jokes are saying, you aren’t doomed to lead a sexless life. Take the Sexual Desire Quiz at RightToDesire.com to start your journey.