I have recently discovered my new favorite game. If you are easily offended please do not play it, or keep reading this post for that matter. It is a terrible game. The makers of this game are awful people, and I truly hope to work for them some day. This game is down right ghastly. The game that I am so in love with is Cards Against Humanity. The premise of the game is simple. There are two types of cards, white cards and black cards. One player will flip a black card and it will pose a question. For example, “The story of how I lost my virginity?” Now all of the remaining players will pick from their hand of white cards to answer the question that the black card poses. So when this card was played the other night, in my hand I held the following white cards; Bitch slap, Cheating in the Special Olympics, Crystal Meth, Black People, and Sean Penn. With so many options to play, it was hard to answer, but I went with Crystal Meth. I did in fact win the point with that card.
This game however got me thinking. What if I made a game for all my Mom friends? We could call it “Cards Against My Sanity.”
It would look a little like this:
Cards Against My Sanity
Options for the Black Question Cards:
Why is Mommy Crying?
What is that sticky mess on the floor?
What is that smell?
Why are you screaming?
Who hid the remote?
Is that a turd or……?
While at the Grocery Store with the kids_____ and ______ happened.
The School called and said________.
My husband wants me to _________.
Why God Why?
What is in your pocket?
Did you do Your Homework?
Options for the White Cards:
Ran out of Xanax
Pile of steamy dog shit
He hit me again
She hit me again
I didn’t do it
I hate you
I peed my pants
Is it bedtime yet
I need a drink
Suck, rub, tug, repeat
So let’s look at what a round of card play would look like:
While at the Grocery store “I Peed my Pants” and “Urine” happened.
Why is Mommy Crying? “Ran out of Xanax”
My Husband wants me to “Suck, rub, tug, repeat.”
What’s that smell could be answered with several cards like….Urine, Feces, even Crystal Meth.
It seems like a winner to me. So if you have anything to do with the production of Cards Against Humanity, please give me a call. I think we have a real money maker on our hands here.