15 Tweets That Show The Reality of Sex After Kids

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Remember the blissful days of rolling around in the sheets, getting all HOT & HEAVY with your partner? How about those delectable post-coital naps? If you’re a parent, chances are the answer is a resounding NO.

Once kids come into the picture, your SEX LIFE can often become a sex half-life. Finding the right time, energy, privacy and enthusiasm can be daunting; these parents from Twitter illustrate how the sex struggle is indeed real!

That postpartum “no sex for 6 weeks” rule applies to BOTH partners, guy.

2. For new parents, sex can seem like a distant memory.

3. But eventually that exciting, lustful urge returns.

4. Well… almost.

5. Foreplay is still important, but… different now.

6. In fact, “trying something new” can take on a whole new meaning.

7. “Toys” in the bedroom now mean, well, TOYS.

8. Finding private time without kid interference can be challenging.

9. You try to distract the kids with TV, which can be weird…for YOU.

10. You forgo slow, sensual seduction for a “quickie”.

11. But sometimes, even a quickie ends TOO quickly. Because, kids.

12. So, you try a kid-free time of day; perhaps morning. Or not.

13. Again- mornings after being up with kids all night? NOPE.

14. If you’re hoping for some nookie once the kids are in bed, don’t count on it.

15.  Want some good lovin’? Hire a sitter.

The bottom line? It can be tough to find the “right” time for sex once kids are in the picture, but anytime can be the right time… just kidding. Sleep first. Well, here’s to trying!

1 COMMENT

  1. I HAVE ONE FOR YOU. THIS IS NO JOKE. WE HAVETWO BOYS, ABOUT TWO YEARS APART. I USED TO WORK THIRD SHIT, AND I MADE TWO MISTAKES ONE WEEKEND. SATURDAY EVENING I HAD MY OLDEST ON MY BACK, AND WAS ON MY HANDS, AND KNEES GIVING HIM “HORSEY” RIDES. FIRST MISTAKE. I GOT HOME SUNDAUY MORNING, MAMA IN HER COTTON GOWN, AND SHE WAS LOOKING GOOD. I CHECKED ON THE BOYS, BOTH ASLEEP. WE GO TO THE BACK BEDROOM FOR SOME US TIME, DID NOT LOCK THE DOOR. SECOND MISTAKE. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT SOMETHING HIT ME IN THE BACK, STARTED BOUNCING UP, AND DOWN, “RIDE HORSEY DADDY”!!! WE WERE COVERD UP, HE SAW NOTHING, BUT HE WAS NOT GETTING DOWN. I TOLD HIM THE HORSE HAS DIED, IT IS DEAD, IT IS OVER. HE KEPT ON, RIDE THE HORSE DADDY, RIDE HORSEY DADDY!!! MY WIFE SAID BIGH BIRD IS ON TV. HE TAKES OFF, BIG BIRD WAS HIS HERO. I GOT UP, LOCKED THE DOOR, MY WIFE SAID DO YOU, I SAID NO, IT IS OVER, BUT THE NEXT TIME I WILL LOCK THIS DAMN DOOR!!!!

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