Well, 2020 sure has been kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic, hasn’t it?? We’re roughly six weeks into social distancing, but who’s counting? (We’d all be counting, if only we could actually remember what day of the week it is.)
All I can tell you is that I’d like to speak to the manager about a refund, because clearly 2020 is broken.
Based on world events, maybe the end IS near, & it appears that one of the four horseman of the apocalypse is actually a nasty giant bug with the face of a superhero villian and the ability to rip bee’s heads clean off. We’re talking murder hornets, people.
In addition to a potentially deadly virus, face masks as part of our daily wardrobe, and the hell of homeschooling our kids, we now have the prospect of a plague of insects with “MURDER” in their name. Sounds about right!
But the funny folks of social media are here to keep us laughing about the absurdity of our latest “WTF?!” news: murder hornets.
- It certainly has been quite a year so far, no?
January: Almost WW3
February: Everything is burning
March: Global Pandemic
May: Murder Hornets
June: Congratulations! You're still alive. Welcome to level 6 of Jumanji.
— Big Boss (@escapedmatrix) May 4, 2020
2. Just when we think we’re dealing well with the coronavirus, along comes a psycho bug swarm. Cool.
Me: I don’t know how this year could get any worse.
News: Murder hornets.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 4, 2020
3. Though at this point, does anything really surprise us about 2020?
Murder hornet has just the ring to it I would expect from a bug in 2020.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) May 4, 2020
4. Another day, another apocalyptic infestation. Whatevs.
Today’s apocalypse word of the day is Murder Hornet brought to you by the letter M. pic.twitter.com/vq6h5v4OwJ
— Gracie Wiley (@Gracie_Wiley) May 4, 2020
5. What’s next -don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it- …ZOMBIES? (Probably.)
January 2020: Australian wildfires continue, Kobe Bryant dies, weird disease in China
February 2020: COVID-19 goes global, stock market tanks
March 2020: basically everything is cancelled because of coronavirus
April 2020: plus there’s a murder hornet
May 2020, probably: pic.twitter.com/UqphYttYoM
— I think you shouldn’t leave the house (@ITYSL_COVID19) May 5, 2020
6. At least we have our own yards to hang in while social distancing… I mean, HAD.
Me: “Quarantining is tough, but at least we have our own backyard to enjoy, so there’s that.”
Murder Hornets: pic.twitter.com/dmY2OdYK0m
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 4, 2020
7. Remember when we used to be able to go outside & NOT fear a savage psycho hornet on steroids? That was fun.
Me: Okay so I was already afraid of wasps and hornets and now you’re telling me that I need to worry about a bigger, badder motherfuckin murder hornet?! 2020: pic.twitter.com/noX6ovUn11
— Sam (@so_unruley) May 4, 2020
8. I mean, clearly Mother Nature is PISSED. (And WTF, monkey?? So.Many.QUESTIONS.)
2020 is New York’s hottest club! This place has everything…pandemics, broken economies, murder hornets, and motorcycle-riding-children-snatching monkeys ? pic.twitter.com/7PhwNaVQq7
— Ryan James Dee ???? (@RyanJamesDee) May 4, 2020
9. Though some of us would rather deal with murder hornets than our kids sometimes… just saying.
My kids are pretending to be sloths by moving at half their normal speed.
If they were to brush their teeth while moving this slow, what will kill me sooner; my kids or this murder hornet that I just let sting me?
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) May 4, 2020
10. (…or with our spouses…)
My husband won't stop playing Call of Duty on his phone… with his friends… with no headphones. I would like to request one murder hornet please.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) May 5, 2020
11. But on the bright side, maybe the government will hook us up on some sweet murder hornet cash?
Will we get murder hornet stimulus checks? pic.twitter.com/twIz4VE3kd
— TrutherUFO (@TrutherUfo) May 5, 2020
12. This is enough to make some us want to pack up & move on out.
me leaving the country after seeing a “murder hornet” in my backyard pic.twitter.com/cQFbu3VDmk
— i speak fax (@kcviiin) May 5, 2020
13. But there are still great American heroes who are ready to take on the next creepy crawly crisis! (Or at least we have this dude.)
Can I fight a murder hornet 1 on 1 to prove that we have nothing to fear? Because I’ll do that for America
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) May 4, 2020
14. It’s fine, though. it’s fine. Everything is fine. It’s FINE.
2020 LITERALLY just sent us something called the “Murder Hornet”…….?????……. LET. THAT. SINK. IN!!!!
2021 looking like a pipe dream at this point bruh!!!! pic.twitter.com/2m0vTHjprS
— I’ll shoot you ?? (@kevinbennylee) May 2, 2020
15. HEE-larious! It’s funny because it’s true.
We need a Meme Train… Show me what you got! Coronavirus, Murder Hornets, Tiger King, etc. pic.twitter.com/awTB0kbCo2
— Mr. Tito (@titowrestling) May 5, 2020
16. Thanks, May. We’re only five days in & you’re KILLING US!
— X Christmas Gifts (@XChristmasGifts) May 5, 2020
17. Forget coronavirus. 2020 could’ve locked us all down with two words: MURDER HORNETS.
If they really wanted to keep me inside this entire time, all they had to say were the words: "Murder" and "Hornets." Job well done, media. Job well done. pic.twitter.com/oehvqO1MY6
— MistyHayes (@MistyGH_) May 5, 2020
Stores, forget the toilet paper & the Lysol; start stocking Raid in bulk. Game on, murder hornets!