The coronavirus pandemic has obviously had a profound effect on our world. In order to attempt to curb the virus’ spread, communities are practicing social distancing. Many businesses throughout the U.S. have closed, & schools across the nation have followed suit.
Parents know that social distancing is the right, responsible thing to do, and many of us were prepared to deal with the inconveniences for the sake of the greater good.
What we were NOT prepared for, however, was the reality of having to now homeschool our own children. And while we hope that ourselves & our loved ones remain safe from the coronavirus, many of us are worried that the homeschool might be what gets us.
One mother posted a Facebook video of her hilariously honest prayer for heavenly help in homeschooling her children & it’s gone viral because every parent across the country feels the same.exact.way.
Brandalyn Shropshire is used to multitasking; she’s not just a mother of six kids, but is also a comedienne, speaker, actress and owner of her own production company, BJS Productions.
Clearly, she’s used to doing all.the.things. But there’s one thing that Brandalyn -like most of us right now- thinks just might be beyond her human capabilities, & that’s homeschooling her kids.
Same, girl. SAME.
Note: She is clearly dressed in her teaching garb, because if my house is any indicator, bathrobes are now standard uniform among homeschooling teachers, aka ALL OF US PARENTS RIGHT NOW.
(These are tough times, so pants are optional.)
In desperation, Brandalyn bowed in prayer to the good Lord above, & asked Him for help in educating her child… every single day for who-knows-how long.
Father God, I am a child of God. What I am NOT is a homeschool teacher.
(Did you hear that sweet, heavenly sound?? It’s the blessed chorus of “AMEN!!” ringing out from desperate weary parents everywhere.)
Father, I am your humble servant. What I am NOT, is a math teacher, God.
HalleLUJAH!! Right there with you, Brandalyn.
My daughter asked for help with her algebra homework yesterday. All I can say is, if x in my daughter’s math homework equation=22, then y= sorry to my 9th grade math teacher for saying I’d never need to use algebra again.
It’s clear that Brandalyn’s household, like many of ours, is under attack from a powerful supernatural enemy.
No, not the devil:
Lord God, the spirit of common core math has attacked our household.
COMMON CORE. It’s the “new” math that has baffled many of us parents; how can math turn into something that no longer looks like math??
Way back in the olden days when kids going to school was still a thing, many of us helped our children with their common core math homework. Or tried to.
I candidly admit that I have often tried to help my first grade son with his math homework… and failed. Each homework session ended with a frantic Google search of, “how to do new math”, followed by a resigned sigh and the refrain, “Go ask your Dad.”
There were boxes called ten-frames. Numbers were still numbers, but were moving around & doing things that numbers never did when we were kids.
Right now, the only thing we have in “common” is frustration… and no answer to the math problem.
One confused parent + one bored kid pining for her iPad + common core math = TORTURE.
I ask that you send down your angels of the carry-over, Lord. Teach her that if you carry the one over to the tenths place, you can get the answer, Lord God.
Can we get an AMEN?! Where did the ones go, common core creators? Why are kids not carrying over the one? How can you not carry over the one???
But homeschooling isn’t just about learning, friends. Schools were apparently feeding our kids lunch, too, & some of these kids expect us to fulfill that outrageous demand, too.
Brandalyn sent up prayer for that responsibility as well, & for good reason:
Lord God, I am a layman in your vineyard.
What I am not is a cafeteria worker, Lord.
Seriously. If I had a nickel for every snack request my kids have made over the past few days, I’d have enough money to buy up every package of toilet paper across America (if only there WAS toilet paper to be bought, that is).
It’s not just the requests to eat that is breaking good decent parental folk down, however. It’s the quantity of food kids are consuming that we need divine intervention for.
Yet again, the devil has attacked and sent down a tapeworm, onto my child.
If your house is anything like mine, it’s not just the people that are on lockdown, but the SNACKS. Because if you leave those yummy boxes of goodness unsupervised, kids swarm them like ants on a sugarcube.
There’s nothing like grabbing an unexpectedly empty box of cereal from the cabinet & pouring yourself a nice big bowl of disappointment for breakfast, amirite?
Bless those who have sinned against us, for they know not what they do (even though they totally knew what they were doing leaving that empty box).
And don’t forget- all that food going into the body eventually makes its way OUT of the body… which means MORE toilet paper. It’s an endless cycle- Lord, help us!
This homeschooling thing is definitely wearing on some of us. We feel the pressure of having to fill the shoes of our kids’ amazing teachers, & we are not worthy, Lord.
Brandalyn feels it, too; without help from above, she might end up trading in her “teaching” robe for an orange jumpsuit:
I see that if things continue the way that they are going, not only am I Your child Lord God, but I’m gonna be an inmate… ’cause I’m going to jail, Lord God.
(No snack requests or common core math? Tempting….)
To conclude her prayer, Brandalyn prayed specifically for our kids’ teachers- because sweet baby Jesus, they are frigging SAINTS!
Change the way things are going right now, Lord God, & bless every teacher… ’cause they got a special place in heaven.
And all God’s people said AMEN, because for real, we miss our kids’ teachers & need this craziness to be over ASAP so they can continue to do the amazing work that they do with our kiddos.
We can also thank heavens for Brandalyn Shropshire for reminding us that a sense of humor is still vital & wonderful in these stressful times.
Prayer of a Desperate Mother#funnylady #womencomedians #cleancomedy #churchoflaugh #momlife #praying #teacherappreciation
Posted by Brandalyn Shropshire – BJS Productions on Wednesday, March 18, 2020