Halloween is right around the corner; bring on the fun costumes, the shouts of “Trick Or Treat!”, and the SUGAR. For kids, the prospect of free candy makes Halloween one of the best days of the year. For parents, navigating an afternoon of trick-or-treating with sugar-frenzied kids can be downright spooky.
The funny parents of Twitter share their thoughts on what Halloween is like with kids- read on to enjoy their hilarity!
- The struggle begins with the costume selection, which starts EARLY. Literally.
One fun thing about parenthood is being woken up at 5:30 AM on Saturday to discuss Halloween costumes with a 4 year old.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 24, 2016
2. Your kid decides on a costume… again. And again. And again…
Maybe this year my child can dress up as someone who can make up their goddamned mind over what to be for Halloween.
— ?Mummy Curses? (@mommy_cusses) October 6, 2017
3. And once they DO pick a costume, they’ll change their minds. It’s science.
Me: You can be anything you want in this world.
Also me: You picked the ghost costume for Halloween and that's what you're going to be.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) October 30, 2017
4. If you’re actually prepared in advance, you have to hide it, because KIDS.
Ah, October: when you order your kid’s Halloween costume early so they don’t sell out, then spend the rest of the month keeping them from wearing and ruining it before the 31st.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 14, 2018
5. And if you forget? You have to get creative- fast. (Those Advil come in handy while trick or treating with kids, though… just saying…)
My son needed a last-minute Halloween costume so I wrapped him like a mummy with my CVS receipt.
You can also scan him for $2 off Advil.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 18, 2017
6. Taking kids trick-or-treating reminds you of your own costumes, which are best forgotten.
8: (seeing my Halloween pic) Didn't you have Pinterest when you were a kid?
Me: No-we had glorified garbage bags & masks that cut our faces.— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) October 30, 2015
7. And there’s always someone wearing a costume that ends up scaring your kid. Or YOU.
If you bring your kid to my house on Halloween dressed as a clown plz know that I'm already practicing tactical maneuvers to take him down.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) October 4, 2016
8. Some parents get into the spirit by wearing a costume… kind of.
For Halloween this year, I’m gonna wash my hair and put on real pants. It’ll be great… No one will even recognize me.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 15, 2018
8. While other parents wear costumes that are downright terrifying.
I'm dressing up as parenthood for Halloween. That shit's scary.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 15, 2017
9. The concept of trick-or-treating can be hard to explain to young kids.
Parents 364 days a year: Don't take candy from strangers.
Parents on Halloween: Take candy from strangers. In the dark. And share with me.
— Walking Outside With Spooks (@WalkingOutside) October 19, 2016
10. But those same young kids don’t understand, so… more candy for YOU.
Halloween tip: Teach your kid that Reeses peanut butter cups are poison and then eat them all
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) October 3, 2017
11. (Though you might have to travel to get the really good stuff.)
I take my kids trick-or-treating in rich neighborhoods. I am like the Robin Hood of Halloween dads.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) October 31, 2017
12. But it’s afterwards that things can take an unpleasant turn…
Halloween never scared me until I became a parent. There is NOTHING scarier than over tired kids in costumes hopped up on sugar.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy) October 31, 2017
13. In fact, Halloween night can be downright scary- for parents.
If there’s not at least 1 kid dissolving into a sobbing jellyfish after being denied a 39th piece of candy, can you even call it Halloween?
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 1, 2017
14. But then the night finally ends… and the cleanup begins.
Halloween isn't over until your kid splatter pukes candy all over their skeleton pajamas.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) October 31, 2016
15. When you think about it, this whole Halloween thing doesn’t make a lot of sense.
It's cute how we pretend we get "free" candy for Halloween, as if we didn't spend a ton of money on costumes and candy to give to strangers.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) October 19, 2016
16. But hey, at least there’s all that “free” candy!
Me: I'm so full.
Wife: Then stop eating the kids' Halloween candy.
Me: I don't eat because I'm hungry. I eat because it's good.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" comes out in 13 days (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2016
17. Let’s just hope we don’t have a nervous breakdown by the time it’s all over.
October is basically helping your toddler put on his costume and take it off again over and over until you have a nervous breakdown.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) October 11, 2016
Happy Halloween- enjoy your (kids’) candy!