17 Hilarious Parenting Pro Tips From The Parents Of Twitter


For those expecting their first child, the intricacies of parenting can seem intimidating. The different stages of child-rearing require the ability to adapt quickly to the ever-shifting demands of parenthood, while still maintaining your sanity (or trying to, anyway).

The best resource for learning how to raise kids is those already in the trenches. Experienced parents have learned through experience the helpful hacks & shortcuts that make parenting more manageable, and are only too happy to pass on that practical knowledge.


So have no fear, newbies, because the veteran parents of Twitter are here with plenty of expert “pro tips” to help you navigate the treacherous waters of parenting!

  1. You’ll survive your child’s toddler stage, but your couch might not.

2. Juice = urine. Tons of urine. It’s science.

3. Toddlers LIE. Almost as much as they pee, which is a lot (see above).

4. A great way to handle the Tooth Fairy task. It’s cheaper, too.

5. I’m only reading half of Green Eggs And Ham, Sam I Am.

6. Parenting: just say NO (Or “we’ll see”, but never “maybe”).

7. Be careful what toys & games you buy your kids- it could come back to haunt YOU.

8. See?? Some kids’ games can be painful. So can school snow days.

9. A great way to avoid play with your kid is to make another kid to play with him/her.

10. In fact, the best thing to do is avoid fun altogether- best not chance it.

11. Mealtime with kids is an ideal time to deal with disappointment, especially when they see the veggies.

12. Need parent downtime? Ask kids to clean, & watch them scatter instantly.

13. …but regaining your kid’s attention is also really easy!

14. Parenting requires you to explain complicated stuff.

15. Kids may pretend that THEY know everything, but ask them to find their shoes…

16. Hell hath no fury like a child who finds their artwork in the trash.

17. Most importantly, don’t worry about being a “cool parent”- the best ones aren’t.

So, don’t stress about being a pro parent. the truth is – we’re all just barely hanging on by a thread anyway.


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