Parenthood is often compared to a marathon, and although I’ve never run a marathon, I assume the similarities are the endless muscle aches, the inability to sit & enjoy a snack or drink while rushing along, and the general “This just might KILL ME.” feeling.
The blood, sweat, & tears that athletes shed while competing in sports is also a good comparison to what parenting often requires of us.
And after a long-ass day of keeping young kids alive -seemingly against their will-, parents need to process just how shit went down. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the MESSY.
A comedic group known as “The Dumb Dads” created a mock post-game press conference about parenting that’s gone viral because it’s hilarious, and hey parents- it’s better to laugh than to cry when the struggle is REAL, amirite?
Dads Evan Kyle Berger and Kevin Laferriere are the comedic geniuses behind “The Dumb Dad” podcast, and their humorous pokes at all things parenting has also earned them a big following on TikTok.
In their latest amusing clip, @dumbdadpod features a mock post-game press conference where Dad is asked to rehash the “game”.
The clip opens with a reporter posing the first key question to “Dad”:
Could you sum up the day?
(Can any parent do justice to that one, really? “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. A bit shitty. No, LITERAL, actual shit.”)
Dad’s response nails it:
Yeah honestly it just felt like we got behind early…
(Same, guy. SAME.)
…after the milk spill and the marker on the wall.
And you know that marker was a Sharpie, because kids have an innate sense for finding them. And abusing them.
We just felt like we were playing catch-up for the rest of the day.
PREACH, brother!! My team is always behind on the game. So is yours, because KIDS.
The reporter attempts to analyze Dad’s use of strategy, specifically questioning his call for a timeout before heading to the store.
Coach Dad knows his players; it turns out that a timeout was just what his team needed to get their *heads back in the game*
(*skip the tantrum when he says no to the driving car grocery cart.. probably*)
While Dad’s timeout call worked well, today’s parenting game had a rough patch: equipment failure.
Or rather, equipment LOSS.
Reporter: Did you ever find your keys?
That’s gonna cost the team… maybe literally.
If Dad’s kids are like mine, the keys are likely in the kitchen trash can. Or locked in the car, & calling a locksmith is one hell of an expensive player contract.
The game did threaten to slip away from Dad at some points, especially around dinnertime. And as all parents know, dinner time is when the team ALWAYS starts dropping their defense.
Especially when the word “snack” comes up late in the 4th quarter.
And it always does.
Rookie mistake, Dad.
But Coach Dad takes the fall for his team’s poor performance at dinner by admitting he may have blown that call:
three bites at dinner… that’s on me.
And of course, there’s the question about how he handled the offensive attack; apparently he was flying solo in parenting that night, so instead of playing man-to-man, Dad was playing a zone game.
(Translation: More than one kid to put to bed = an utter, unavoidable shitshow. Every.Single.Night.)
The clip concludes there, and while the score was probably uncomfortably close, it seems like Dad pulled out a squeaker of a win.
But there’s always a chance to test his parent-game skills tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day- and the competition (especially if they’re toddlers) promises to be FIERCE.