So… 2020, am I right? What a year. What a crazy, broken, dysfunctional, dirty, flaming dumpster-fire of a year.
So far 2020 has been an unequivocal shitshow to say the least, & that’s putting it mildly. We had wildfires. A pandemic. Face mask requirements. Toilet paper shortages. Drive-by birthday parties, virtual learning, Zoom meetings, murder hornets, alien sightings, meteor threats, event cancellations, and OHMIGOD someone make it stop already!
Let’s take a well-sanitized stroll down Memory Lane with the folks of Twitter through the swampy suckfest that is 2020, shall we?!
- I think we all can agree that 2020 has been quite a ride so far, no?
Alexa, play a metaphor for 2020 pic.twitter.com/7O7N2otboa
— Jon “Jon Baker” Baker (@JonBaker) October 8, 2020
2. Remember when things were “normal” back in February? And how 2020 seemed full of potential? Well… that escalated quickly.
2020 sounded like the most futuristic year and now we’re all like “I traded my neighbor a handkerchief for some carrots”
— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) April 10, 2020
3. Along came quarantining. Stay at home, you say? Well alrighty. Wait- KEEP staying at home? Like, together? All of us? All.the.time together??
Quarantine without kids = staycation Quarantine with kids = hostage situation
— Molly McNearney (@mollymcnearney) March 15, 2020
4. Professional sports got cancelled, which led to even more “quality” time for families… like it or not!
Night 1 of no sports: My wife and I just had an hour long conversation. She’s really nice, apparently she works in the medical field. Also, TV’s are black when they are off.
— Derek Burbidge (@DerekBurbidge) March 13, 2020
5. And how about that toilet paper-hoarding? That was fun, huh?
me and the boys on our way to get the last toilet paper at the store pic.twitter.com/0JLlGz1PmG
— Saberspark (@Saberspark) March 13, 2020
6. Let’s not forget face masks. It’s 2020, and we’re all wearing frigging masks.on.our.faces. But it seemed kinda cool, I mean, at first…
When I wear my face mask I like to think I look like a ninja. A tired, stressed, and vacant eyed ninja.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 14, 2020
7… until you had your first pungent face-mask faux pas. Ew.
Shoutout to everybody who already burped into their own face via mask.
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) May 8, 2020
8. At least we can thank 2020 for bringing us the fascinating trainwreck that is Tiger King .
Me explaining #TigerKing to my mom:
There's a magician, meth head, tiger tamer, country singer, gay polygamist, an Alex Jones type but with live tigers in his videos, and presidential/gubernatorial candidate.
Mom: that's too many people to track
Me: oh that's just one guy
— Pete Stegemeyer (@itspeterj) March 24, 2020
9. Granted, we all had time to binge-watch Tiger King… until virtual learning kicked in, of course. And by “kicked”, I mean kicked our parental ASSES.
— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) March 19, 2020
10. As if a pandemic and quarantining wasn’t bad enough, 2020 expected us to teach??
Parents: “What the hell? I don’t know how to teach 4th grade math and science!”
School districts: pic.twitter.com/JsDQBfPkty
— TheMotherBOOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) March 16, 2020
11. (Granted, the more organized of us parents came up with successful virtual learning curriculum that were, well, certainly relevant.)
Homeschooling for Dummies during Quarantine:
History: The Great Depression
Phys Ed: Hand washing
Social Studies: Tiger King
Science: Murder Hornets
Math: SIX FEET!
Reading: Little House on the Prairie, A handbook for our life now
Home Ec: sewing face masks
— MomTransparenting (@momtransparent1) May 5, 2020
12. 2020 then decided to send its next chapter of “WTF??”: MURDER HORNETS.
Me: “Quarantining is tough, but at least we have our own backyard to enjoy, so there’s that.”
Murder Hornets: pic.twitter.com/dmY2OdYK0m
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 4, 2020
13. Zoom meetings became the norm for school & for working folk. And #PoorJennifer became the Zoom cautionary tale heard -and seen, in all her toilet-crouching glory- about what NOT to do in an online live meeting.
— Zoom Fails (@ZoomFail) March 23, 2020
14. Remember when there was talk about aliens being real, & UFO sightings being confirmed back in April, & we were all like, “Whatever.” because 2020?
Damn, I had aliens in October on my 2020 bingo card
— Trey (@treydayway) September 14, 2020
15. We’ve all been doing this pandemic thing for a LONG TIME, 2020, and we are so over it.
I've reached the stage of quarantine where I can't tell if the eyelid twitching is too much coffee, too much homeschooling or not enough alcohol.
— Northern Lights ??? (@PinkCamoTO) May 16, 2020
16. Many schools across the country are finally open, & although many of us thought the future would be different than our past, this is not what we meant.
My mom sending me to school in 1978: Don't forget your lunchbox and books and pencil case.
Me, sending my kids to school in 2020: Don't forget your mask and hand sanitizer and hazmat suit.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) August 14, 2020
17. 2020 has forced us to cancel so many cool things, & it’s still going.
People are all mad that Halloween is “canceled” as if 2020 hasn’t already been one long fucking horror movie.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 7, 2020
18. I mean, we can catch Covid, but can’t seem to catch a break…
Just found out the drugstore ran out of Xanax and if that isn’t the most on-brand thing for 2020, I don’t know what is.
— Mom and Buried (@momandburied1) October 7, 2020
19. But if a Covid vaccine isn’t available by the end of 2020, at least we’ll be immune to something!
I think surviving 2020 should give us immunity from 2021 new years resolutions
— elle ? (@notfunnyelle) October 7, 2020
Go home, 2020- you’re drunk! (And stressful. Overwhelming. Scary. Nasty, -insert your own colorful choice of descriptive adjective here-,etc.) It’s not us, it’s YOU, and you need to back off & let us have a peaceful 2021, please & thank you.