Of course, all of us moms LOVE our kids! But let’s be honest here, every mom has their very own secret wish list. Being a mom is the hardest, yet most rewarding job that I have ever had. Here is my secret wish list. I guess the cat’s out of the bag!
1. A body that doesn’t ache or hurt all of the time!
I would like legs that don’t ache from being on my feet all day. Maybe a back that doesn’t feel broken from picking up a kid 745 times a day. And I might as well throw in arms that don’t hurt from dragging a child out of the toy aisle in a store for the 515th time because they are throwing a fit over a tiny toy that I won’t buy!
2. A waist!
I’d like my waist to come back please since it disappeared during pregnancy and is apparently too afraid to return.
3. To have just 1 car ride without hearing the Frozen soundtrack on repeat!
I would like to sit in my car and listen to any music except kid music for once. Let it go already, Elsa!
4. Windows and mirrors that are fingerprint resistant!
For once, I would like to stand in my kitchen and glance out my window and not see fingerprints all over it. Also, I would like to add that they should be food resistant too so that when a baby throws their smushed peas across the room they don’t get all stuck to the window. I swear that my kid can throw better than I can.
5. A phone conversation in peace!
I would like to have a phone conversation for more than 10 minutes without having to referee a WWE match in my living room or hide in the laundry room for some quiet. Is that really too much to ask for?!
6. A gym membership!
I would love a gym membership. While I am at it, I would also love some time to use said gym membership and a body that is not too tired to actually go to the gym. After all, it would be nice to wear those gym clothes that I have to actually go to the gym instead of having them be my everyday wardrobe.
7. Kids that actually like each other!
My kids never, ever get along. I don’t know if it is a twin thing or a sibling thing, but they literally could and would fight over a blade of grass. Someone should warn you when you have a second child that your new job title will also be full-time referee. Yup, this lasted exactly 2 minutes!
8. A year supply of chocolate!
That I could have all to myself and not have to share with anyone (kids and husband included.) I would also like to not have to hide in the pantry to eat it!
9. Children that actually listen to me more than the dog does!
My children have totally tuned out my voice. I could probably scream that the house is on fire and they still wouldn’t hear me. At this point, the only one who actually listens to me is the dog. I guess I should take what I can get, right?!
10. Clothes that are not covered in poop, spit up, or baby food stains!
For once, I would like to get dressed in the morning without having to inspect my clothes for foreign stains.
11. To eat a hot dinner!
By the time I serve and cut up everyone’s food, I might as well be eating a frozen uncooked dinner. And why do my kids always think the food on MY plate tastes better? Eat your own, kid!
12. For ketchup to be considered a vegetable!
I really am so darn tired of saying eat your vegetables. Let’s just declare ketchup a vegetable and call it a day already! It would clear my conscience tremendously.
13. For yoga pants to be deemed “business casual!”
This would just make my life soooo much easier.
14. To watch a non-kid TV show during the day!
I would love to watch something other than the Disney channel during the day so I can actually watch the whole thing without falling asleep because I am so dang tired.
15. To drink hot coffee!
Is it really too much to ask to drink my coffee hot? And I mean the 1st time, not after it is microwaved 3 times.
16. A 10-minute uninterrupted shower!
I want a 10-minute shower where nobody fights or calls my name. Where I don’t have to choose whether to shave my legs or wash my hair.
17. For scientists to prove that french fries are the most important food group!
I could really be a mommy rock star if this actually happened.
18. One picture that everyone is looking and smiling the 1st time and is not blurry!
1st try, nope!
2nd try, no again!
3rd try, I’ll take it I guess!
19. Gift cards to my favorite stores!
I want lots of gift cards for Mother’s Day and Christmas to my favorite stores. Also, I want a day to go shopping without my kids in tow to rip all of the clothes off the racks and kill each other in the carriage. That’s all!
20. I want a date night with my husband!
Parent-teacher nights don’t count as a date either. I want to go to a restaurant for dinner that doesn’t have crayons or kids menus. I want to have an adult conversation that is not interrupted every 2 seconds. I want to have a spilled drink free meal that I get to eat hot. I’m not asking for much here people!
21. Musical instruments that always sound beautiful!
I would like for someone to please invent musical instruments that don’t make the dog bark and my ears bleed when my kid’s practice, please. Someone get on that!
Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in my life. I live and breathe for my kids! But there is nothing wrong with us moms dreaming of alone time to pamper ourselves. I think I might be dreaming until they are 18. It’s a good thing they are so stinkin’ cute!