Every Friday morning, I make challah dough, and by the time I light my Shabbat candles at sunset, I’ve got a lovely braided loaf.
Challah can be as easy or as challenging as you want to make it, and since I spend half my day in the kitchen, I like to think that I can bake reasonably well. I am constantly looking up new, fun twists (6, 8, 12, and 24-strand braids? Heck yeah!)
But one post featuring a how-to for key-shaped challah, has the entire internet laughing.
“Shlissel Challah or Key Challah is customarily made the Shabbat after Passover (aka this week,” the post reads.
“Yes, it’s been a week since Passover already. It is said to be a Segulah (Kabbalistic ritual that leads to change in one’s fortune) for livelihood and Parnasa (income). Many people place a key into the Challah dough while being braided. Here is a step-by-step tutorial on how to shape your challah dough into a key.”
At my house, we shape the dough into an elaborate key shape, but some families will make a regular braid and include their actual house key that has been wrapped in foil and hidden inside the loaf.
This practice is found in plenty of other cultures too.
Folks in the American South may be familiar with King Cake during Mardi Gras when a small replica of baby Jesus is baked into the colorful confection. Whoever finds the baby Jesus is said to be blessed with good luck. It’s a similar idea with the challah key.
But, let’s get back to the “penis bread.”
The comments quickly went off the rails when a well-known Jewish blogger hilariously chimed in, noting that the Schlissel challah had a suspicious shape.
“PSA: your ‘key challah’ reeeeeaaaaaallllly doesn’t look like a key,” wrote Sarah Tuttle-Singer.
It seems that she was not alone in her NSFW assessment of the bread. Georgina Selwyn wrote, “Uuummm a ‘key’ was definitely not what I saw first when this came on my feed. Shabbat Shalom!”
But some folks didn’t immediately see a phallic loaf.
“I see a key. I’m not a prude, either, but I clearly see a key. If that’s a man’s genitalia, he needs a doctor pronto,” commented Todd Beaucoudray.
Another Facebook user took a more philosophical approach to the is-it-a-penis or is-it-a-key argument politicly brewing in the comments. Kamille Alexis wrote, “Rejected Jewish Proverb: A key must only allow one access to what’s otherwise hidden. Aka. You’re all right. End of story.”
Whether you see a penis or a key, the comments brought a welcome dose of levity in a world that sometimes feels like a salty cesspool of negativity.
If you want to see some epic examples of jaw-dropping challah, check out these beauts:
Challah key from The Challah Prince.
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This gorgeous challah keys from Rochie Pinson on Instagram
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Rainbow challah by my favorite mensch, Jake Cohen.
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And here is my own attempt at challah pretzels with honey mustard sauce.
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