Remember when the pandemic first cranked up back in March & all of us were like, “Hey, let’s do a group Zoom!” to our friends & family? That was fun, right?
I don’t know how the rest of you civilized folk practice Zoom meeting etiquette, but as a member of a very large, very LOUD Italian family, I can report that my family Zoom meetings consisted of roughly 20 minutes of everyone yelling over everyone else… except for those that could not seem to master how to turn their mics on (and there’s always one of those, isn’t there?).
For most, group Zoom meetings were a fun novelty- until they weren’t.
Once we all adapted to what we know as “life in the time of corona”, we all sort of dropped the Zoom thing.
But for many working folk & kids, however, Zoom meetings are still part of their daily life. Now that the new school year is upon us, many families have kids now engaged in virtual school lessons.
Learning on Zoom is just plain WEIRD, & one Twitter thread describing the hilarious things kids are saying in their live meetings has exploded in popularity because it really nails the fresh hell that is virtual learning.
Mom Alexis Diao’s 4-year-old just started preschool via Zoom, & she tweeted a quick report on just how swell that went:
Zoom preschool is both hilarious and depressing. My 4 year old keeps unmuting himself and yelling 'I DON'T KNOW YOUR NAME! IS THIS MEETING OVER YET?'
— Alexis Diao (@meowdiao) September 2, 2020
Truth be told, I think most adults have the same reaction when in the average Zoom meeting:
Is this meeting over yet?
Alexis’ observation soon took on a life of it’s own as fellow Twitter peeps shared their own kids’ reactions while in school Zoom meetings.
Zoom 2nd grade is fun. When my son gets bored he just closes the laptop and walks away. "Technical issues!" He yells.
— Keith Edwards (@KEdwardK) September 2, 2020
SECOND GRADE? Sounds to me like Keith’s son unlocked another level in personal time management- looks like I found my new life coach!
My 7 year old’s teacher had to disable the chat function because the kids kept typing poop.
— Karine (@KarineReiter1) September 2, 2020
Hah! Been there, seen that. The words of choice in my son’s first grade class last spring was “fart” and “fart rocket”. Chat was also quickly disabled.
A kid had to go to the bathroom in my kids High School class and this is what he sent everyone. ? pic.twitter.com/KrVJap34Or
— Marcella Lamb (@MarcellaRLamb) September 3, 2020
At least he didn’t bring his class into the bathroom to give them a first-hand peek at his… “fart rockets”, amirite? Looks like someone learned from Poor Jennifer’s tale of toilet-livestreamed-trauma.
There was a mixup with a 1st grade Zoom and there were no teachers for a few minutes. Several of the children were suddenly renamed poop.
— Rabbi Sari Laufer (@rabbilaufer) September 3, 2020
Oh, and speaking of POOP, here’s another gem. Just when you think first-graders don’t even know basic spelling…. life finds a way.
My 5th grader's class did the same thing. Then they figured out they could change their names and the boys changed theirs to Penis.
— Persephone Pappaniko (@perse_pappa) September 3, 2020
It seems like only yesterday that Penis was obsessed with Poop…. they sure do grow up fast, don’t they??
My second grader will unmute herself and say her computer is “glitching” so she has to restart it and will leave the meeting for a few minutes to get a snack. I still haven’t figured out if I’m proud of her or not.
— Vanessa Salazar (@radvsa) September 3, 2020
I fully support this; there’s nothing like a snack to “restart” your tolerance for virtual learning.
My nephew took a family photo that’s he’s in and put headphones ? on it and placed it in front of the laptop and walked away.
1st grade ZOOM pic.twitter.com/kAbZYBt8Vi
— Air-Rum (@__aarum) September 3, 2020
Sheer genius! And bonus points for choosing a pic that makes virtual learning look like a family effort…
My 2nd grade boy made it an hour in on his first day yesterday. Walked out and announced, “I’m going outside! Can you go sit on the call?” ???
— Melissa Baker (@bakerpartyofsix) September 3, 2020
This little dude is clearly heading for success in the corporate world; he’s obviously already mastered task delegation & outsourcing!
My friends 1st grader (who is in the same class as the kid I’m nannying) told the class her favorite part of summer was seeing a brown booby and both her mom and step dad are in the background going “tell them it’s a bird. Explain it’s a bird. It’s a seabird tell them that” ?
— Oh Gee, Put on a Mask (@ohgeeitsdeegee) September 3, 2020
No, seriously, she means A BIRD! We SWEAR!
We had a kid who did the entire meeting with a Halloween trick-or-treat bucket on his head.
— Anna Bo (@_anna_bobanna) September 2, 2020
Listen, as someone who has had many an “ugly” day while forced to participate in a Zoom meeting, I feel this one in my soul.
My seven year old’s teacher lost her connection and a random kid was promoted to host. Teacher logged back on, but he didn’t give host back; he muted her and made farting noises for five minutes
— CTG (@realsnacktime) September 3, 2020
This. Is. HILARIOUS!!!
A friend’s 4yo told her after day 2: “I don’t want to watch that again, Mom.”
— Ashley ? (@ashleyjmel) September 3, 2020
I agree, kid. Pandemic 2020 is the worst.show.ever.
My son called his first kindergarten zoom meeting a “living nightmare” while laying facedown on the floor…
— “karens” give Karens a bad name (@KMHoskinson) September 2, 2020
True that, kiddo. TRUE THAT.
Diao’s tweet quickly went viral, with over 160K likes and 13.7K retweets in a single day… because kids everywhere clearly have feelings about virtual learning, & have NO problem expressing them!
Pandemic life is just bizzare. Our kids are being deprived -hopefully, temporarily- of a “normal” school experience, & as parents, it hurts our hearts.
Learning on a computer screen from home is obviously not the norm, but we’re all doing what we can to make the best of it. And in the midst of tough stuff, it’s great to laugh with fellow parents at our kids’ comedic examples of the absurdity of it all!